Looking Back At Where I Was

3 years .... that is how long it has has taken me to see just how much my life has changed.

It doesn't feel like it has been almost 3 years already but sure enough we are about to hit that point.
3 years of  marriage is right around the corner and holy cow how things have changed in that amount of time.

1. Dealing with a hardship tour right after we got married.
2. Custody battle with people who only wanted our kids for the money.
3. Our First Year of marriage pretty much totally apart.
4. Giving up the chance to pcs to another country due to the on going custody battle. Only to find out     we could have gone.
5. PCSing only days after my husband returned state side.
6. Moving to a whole new state far away from the East Cost I have always known and loved.
7. The struggle of secondary infertility which I never thought I would deal with in my life time.
8. The loss of babies once I was able to get pregnant.
9. Moving to a 3rd state with in 1 year.
10. Getting pregnant and being on bed rest with our youngest.
11. Having our little boy born 6 weeks early after a long and difficult pregnancy.
12. Surviving the NICU life and not being able to hold him after my c section.

The list just goes on and on yet here we all are standing here together. Happy, stronger than ever and ready to move on to the next phase in our lives.

It didn't seem like we have come that far but we did. We have made it through tornado's and storms that I never thought we would ever go through. We fought to stay together and grow our family.

To think that 3 years ago I was just a gypsy girl sitting in an a crappy apartment with my best friend and crazy kids chatting about what the future would hold for us. I was controlled by my family and my ex husbands family. I had no real control or say over my own life. I wasn't able to be the mom or friend that I wanted to be. I honestly thought that living in campers and tents and any where else I had lived in the past. Was going to be the hardest time of my life but let me tell you I was wrong. All of the hard things I went through lead me to where I am right now. Every failed relationship was showing me what I didn't want in my life. Every tear I cried was making me tougher for my future life. All the years I was a single mom was making sure I could handle the house and kids. On my own because my husband would be working often. Every thing has brought me and my children to this life that we live now.

 I never in my life would have thought that I would find the man of my dreams. Fall madly in love and that we would be where we are today. I never thought I would have this kind of happiness but here I am every day living a life that I am so blessed to have.

I honestly thought my best friend would still be living with us or maybe she would be in love and married with a baby of her own by this point in our lives. She helped me raise my older two for most of their lives. She is going to make an amazing mother and wife one day. I will forever hold out hope for her to fall in love and be happy. I could wish nothing more for her than true happiness and a family.

Chatting with her the other day brought all of this up to me, it reminded me just how much my life has changed. I don't know what life has in store for our future but I know that it will be amazing. So when your having a hard day. Just sit back and think about how far you have actually come in life. Think about where you were and where you are now and what it had taken for you to get there.

Could someone have told me that back then, umm NO. Not a chance that I would have listened to them but I see it every single day of my life. I see the changes coming to the lives of my friends. I see their struggle bringing the to wonderful places in life. I know that the hardships are not over for me and my family. Deployments happy, hardships happen but ya know what life is amazing and beautiful. Just keep your head up and know where you want to be in and life. Faith and hard work will always get you where you need to be, even if it is not where you thought you would end up.

Because life behind these gates ....  is always an adventure!

Always, Steph