The True Struggle .... Trying To Get Pregnant.

This issue is VERY dear to my heart as I am at this very moment

Trying to get pregnant with baby # 3. 

It has been so difficult for my husband and I to be able to have another baby. 

After 7 years of being on a Mirena  IUD.

It has been so hard. Harder then I ever thought it could be. 

To the point that we have lost a few babies at this point in our Journey. It has been filled with heartache, pregnancy test and waiting. Praying that we will see those beautiful pink lines. 

As of this very moment I am in the TWW ( Two Week Wait )

period and it is very . 

The TWW is the two week between the time you ovulate and the time you can can get a positive pregnancy test at home. 

Today we are  6 dpo ( days past ovulation ) and well I know that there are so many people who say that we can't take  a test until 14 days after ovulation. However lets get real! What female trying to get pregnant really waiting the full 14 days.

I know that people who are 6 days past ovulation has been blessed enough to get a positive on a Home pregnancy test.  ( not a Bright on but still its there ) 

 I am going to be taking a pregnancy test every morning for the next 4 days. 

I am praying that I am one of those luck few who get a very early positive in these four days. 

We have been full on trying for about 5 months. 

long months that seem to never end. The Cycles where we don't end up pregnant are the hardest on me. I know that is has to be hard on my husband as well however he doesn't show it.

To start with I honestly had no idea what I was doing. 

I have never had to try to get pregnant before and never thought I would be having this problem. 

Things that I didn't know could fill a book honestly. 

Pregnancy Terms To Know

TWW - Two Week Wait

TTC- Trying To Conceive 

DPO - Days Past Ovulation

BD - Baby Dance

BFN - Big Fat Negative

BFP - Big Fat Positive

HTP - Home Pregnancy Test

AF - Aunt Flow

LMP - Last Menstrual Period

EWCM - Egg White Cervical Mucus

CIO - Cry It Out 

BBT - Basal Body Temperature 

SAHM - Stay At Home Mom

POAS - Pee On A Stick

BMS- Baby Making Sex

CB - Cycle Day

CF - Cervical Fluid

CL - Corpus Luteum

CM - Cervical Mucus

CP- Cervical Position

CY - Cycle

DI - Donor Insemination

DP - Dancing Partner ( spouse or Significant other )

FTTA - Fertile Thought To All

FMU - First Morning Urine

HCG - Human Chorionic Gonadotropin ( Pregnancy Hormone )

IF - Infertility 

IUI - Intrauterine Insemination

IVF - In Vitro Fertilization

LH - Luteinizing Hormone

O - Ovulation

OPK - Ovulation Predictor Kit

PCOS (POS ) - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

S/A - Sperm Analysis

TCOYF - Taking Charge Of Your Fertility 

Back To School Sales!

        The hunt is on!

For new school supplies!

I love this time of year it is beautiful out side. 

The list for all the school supplies and deals coming out.

It is the best time of year to find all of those little things that you 

have been wanting to get and for cheap at that. 

Here is my list Of things I want to get this year. 

Keep in Mind I am pretty new still to this home schooling stuff. 

I am trying to keep my list small, due to the fact that I know that I am lucky enough to have a husband who fully supports me.

He understands that I am new to this and I will need some time to get this homeschooling shopping list perfected.

I know that there are a lot of sales going on between now and the start of school. 
However I am pretty much done for now. I bought  all of the things besides the electric pencil sharpner, chalk boards and chalk. 
 At Walmart.

For a total of $60 and boy was I shocked!

The Places I know are Doing Back To School Sales!
Walmart

Target

Kmart

Staples

Amazon

Operation Home Front - School Supply Give Away


What is on your School Supply List this year?

Are you a new home school family?

Thinking about starting home schooling your kids?

Please feel free to comment, and let me know where you stand and where I am going wrong so far. 

Craving Chick Fil A? .... Chicken Nuggets Ricepe

Can A Girl Get Some Chick Fil A please!

I am about 30 or 40 minutes away from one of my favorite places to eat.  and not to be rude but IT SUCKS! 

I am use to driving right down the road with in 2 miles from my house. 

Thus I decided to learn to make my own chicken nuggets here at home. 

This was the simplest recipe and I honestly don't know if I will ever go out to get them again. Knowing I can make them at home.

Here is what you need.

*  Chicken Breast 

* Italian Bread Crumbs 

* 1 egg  

* Oil

 ( I used Vegetable oil but I am sure you can use any kind you want )

Step 1. 

Cut up the chicken breast into bite size pieces.

Step 2.

pour enough oil in the pan to over the bottom of the pan.  

Step 3. 

Crack the Egg into a bowl

Step 4. 

pour  the bread crumbs into a bowl. A cereal bowl 

will do. Enough to fill the bowl. 

Step 5. 

Place the cut up chicken pieces into the egg, and cover the whole  piece with egg 

Step 6. 

Take the egg dipped chicken and put it in the bowl with the bread crumbs. Make sure to cover the chicken.

( I have allowed my kids put the bread crumbs in a baggie and allowed them to shake the chicken to cover it. It was a great way to get the kids involved in dinner or lunch time. )

Step 7.

Place the chicken from the bread crumb bowl into the hot oil in the pan. and cook until they are done on both sides.

It only takes about 10 minutes for them to get done if that.

 Fast, easy and yummy idea for anyone. 

My kids loved them and I didn't even have the chance to get  a picture of them before their plates were totally clean. 

Enjoy! 

Show Me The Hero .... Caitlyn Jenner?

In 1976 Bruce Jenner became a Olympic Gold Medalist.

Becoming a hero to many of the people who say at home and the lucky ones who sat in the stands watching that amazing moment. 
A moment in time that has changed the lives no only of Bruce Jenner but of so many people. Who pushed through it all to try 
to become one of the greats like Bruce Jenner.

It is heart breaking to know that all of those that use to look up to him. Will no longer get to remember his great day in history. 

Due to the now never ending media crazy events of this year. 

Bruce Jenner is no longer the same person to some of us. 
He is now living his life as a " woman " Ms. Caitlyn Jenner .

I can not sit here and lie to everyone saying that I am happy for him. When I am in fact not. If he wanted to change the body God gave him okay fine. If he wanted to live his life as a female and not a man fine. It is no my life and I can not say that I honestly care about that. 

However all this CRAP yes I said it crap! about how he is a hero?

Are you joking?
Like for real is this a joke?

Being brave enough to face the world as who you believe you have always been is one thing. Sure its brave I guess not that I know anyone who really cares. 

However he has never risked his life,

 he has never fought for our country. 

He has never put on a uniform to protect us all. 
To protect our rights that he so happily pushes down our throats every day.

Acting as if he is a hero and not CORRECTING everyone as he rightfully should. 

The men and women that fight every day to protect us.
The Military members serving past and present.
The fire fighters
The Police officers
These are hero's every day!

The are braver then " Caitlyn Jenner " could ever dream of being.

I get it to so many people he is brave for living his life the way he wants to. However he is a failure in my eyes. He failed to correct people. 
He allowed himself to be called something he in fact is not, well not for changing into a female at least. 

You want to play the hero then go make your self earn the title.
Every day when you wake up you can earn it.
You can help fund those who are the real hero's.
You can stand up for the police officers who deal with getting bashed every day. You can tell the world who the real hero's
are in this country. 
You have lord only knows how many follows and " fans" maybe its time you step up.
Stop being a follower and prove you have earned the right to be a
leader in the world no matter the reason or way.
So 
I Challenge you " Ms. Caitlyn Jenner " To step up.

Be the true Hero people claim you are and show the world who the real hero's are. Show the world who deserves the respect and the title.  Of a Hero in this country.

As a Military Wife who gets the honor to see these hero's every day of my life. 

Be a Hero! Honor A Real Hero!

Simple Cajun Pasta

I love to cook, Really nothing is better then cooking for my family every night though I love to go out as well. 

 My Recipe tonight is very simple, and its something that anyone can make in a matter of 30 mins.

I dislike when people say " I don't cook because it takes too much time." Cooking can be very fun and even can help take the stress out of your life. 

What you need, 

I used 2 boneless skinless chicken breast.(I don't like a lot of meat) 
 1 pound of Penne pasta
Sliced Red peppers.( in a jar because it is fast and easy )
Heavy Whipping Cream ( 1pt )
Mrs. Dash original blend
Cajun spices 
1 bag of Italian Cheese ( 16 oz bag )

* Cut The Chicken ( what ever amount you want to use ) into 
pieces then cook however you normally would cook in the frying pan. ( I use butter but that is just how I am ) 
* Boil your water for your pasta and boil the pasta as you normally would. 
* Once your pasta is boiling start your chicken. 
 ( I use the Mrs. Dash to season the chicken while I cook it. however it is up to you.)

* Once all your Chicken is fully cooked add the peppers 
 ( or anything else you would like, Mushrooms, different colored pepper, tomatoes, onions. )

* Once Everything has been fulled heated pour in your heavy whipping cream. 

* Add Cajun spices to taste. I do not measure the amount I use I just add it until it taste good to me. Not much is needed. 

* Allow it to simmer for a about 4 minutes

* Then add the Whole bag of shredded cheese, slowly stirring it in and allowing it to melt. 

* Once your pasta is done cooking drain it and mix you chicken, cheese , heavy cream mixture into the pot with your drained pasta.

Mix It all together and then pour it into your serving bowl or serve it out of the pot It don't matter. 

I normally serve this pasta with Texas toast because to us that is the best combination. 

My husband is a pretty picky eater  

as are our two children. 

This is one meal I know every time my family will eat with out any problem. 

Enjoy and feel free to comment and let us know how you liked it. 

( I am NOT a pro. Chief I am just a mom trying to cook new and easy meals for my growing family and friends. )

The Struggle .... infertility after Mirena

Are you struggling with getting pregnant?

You are not alone!

It has been over a year sense I had my Mirena removed. 

I have tried to get pregnant and stay pregnant for a while now. It has been a true struggle. 

There are some things that you can do in order to help up your chances of getting pregnant. 

( I am NOT a doctor just a woman trying to get pregnant like everyone else. )

I have been researching different things here is what I have found and some things that I have tried

This month I am trying!

Yucca Root ( also known as Cavassa Root or Maca Root )

I just started this pill this cycle. I at this point can not say 100% if it is working. However I can say that I am showing more signs in ovulation this time around. 

I am having cramping, headaches, I am very tired. 

I have been charting my ovulation using the Ovia Ovulation & Period Tracker  I honestly can not say enough about this app. I love it! 

It is the best app I have found that gives you advice, tells you everything you are going through and has been 100% right so far. It tells you when to try, when to take a pregnancy test and everything your body is going through. What my body is going through has never made more sense to me ever. 

I have always been pretty lost when it come to this stuff. I didn't grow up with the kind of mother who talked to me about well anything. So I never knew a lot of this information. 

It has been a God send and I have high hopes for getting pregnant and staying pregnant this cycle. 

Supplements Releated to TTC

What Supplements do you and your partner takes while TTC.

Supplements

 There is now a great deal of scientific knowledge about the use of nutritional supplements and their beneficial effects on both male and female fertility. As you will see, these supplements can be very effective in re-balancing your hormones, as well as improving you and your partner’s overall health, which are so vital for successful conception.

Scientific research has shown that certain vitamins and minerals can increase your chances of getting and staying pregnant. In order to maximise your chances of conceiving it is very important that you and your partner are in optimum health. By eliminating nutritional deficiencies and improving sperm production and mobility you can dramatically increase your chances of getting pregnant. In order to do this it is essential that you are obtaining the right nutrients and in the right quantities to enhance your success.

Supplements are necessary because even the best diet in the world mayl not contain all the nutrients you need to give you the best chance of conceiving.

Folic Acid

It is now known that folic acid can prevent spina bifida in your baby, and it is essential that you get plenty both before and during pregnancy. And that’s not all: folic acid is undoubtedly important, but it is just part of the very important B-complex family of vitamins that are necessary to produce the genetic materials DNA and RNA, not only of the egg but also the sperm. Together with vitamin B12, folic acid works to ensure that your baby’s genetic codes are intact. Remember: it’s not enough to take folic acid alone when you are trying to become pregnant. All of the B vitamins are essential during the pre-conceptual period. Research has shown that giving B6 to women who have trouble conceiving increases fertility and vitamin B12 has been found to improve low sperm counts.

Zinc

Zinc is the most widely studied nutrient in terms of fertility for both men and women. It is an essential component of genetic material and a zinc deficiency can cause chromosome changes in either you or our partner, leading to reduced fertility and an increased risk of miscarriage. Zinc is necessary for your body to ‘attract and hold’ (utilise efficiently) the reproductive hormones, oestrogen and progesterone.

And it’s equally important for your partner: zinc is found in high concentrations in the sperm. Zinc is needed to make the outer layer and tail of the sperm and is, therefore, essential for the health of your partner’s sperm and, subsequently, your baby. Interestingly, several studies have also shown that reducing zinc in a man’s diet will also reduce his sperm count.

Selenium

Selenium is an antioxidant that helps to protect your body from highly reactive chemical fragments called free radicals. For this reason, selenium can prevent chromosome breakage, which is known to be a cause of birth defects and miscarriages. Good levels of selenium are also essential to maximise sperm formation. Blood selenium levels have been found to be lower in men with low sperm counts.

Omega 3 Fatty Acids

These essential fats have a profound effect on every system of the body, including the reproductive system and they are crucial for healthy hormone functioning. Omega 3 fatty acids also control inflammation which may interfere with getting and staying pregnant. For men essential fatty acid supplementation is crucial because the semen is rich in prostaglandins which are produced from these fats. Men with poor sperm quality, abnormal sperm, poor motility or low count, have inadequate levels of these beneficial prostaglandins.

Many of the women I see in the clinic have been taking evening primrose oil supplements – an Omega 6 fatty acid – for years and have not been eating enough Omega 3 oils, or taking them in supplement form, to counterbalance this. Some women are also taking combinations such as Omega 3, 6, and 9 in supplement form because they have heard that we need a good balance of all the Omega fatty acids. This is true, but you have to take into account what your own levels may be in the first place. It is no good adding in more Omega 6 if you have already got enough or in fact too much in your body. (You can now have a blood test to tell you if you have the correct levels of Omega 3 to Omega 6 in your body see below). To check whether you have sufficient levels of Omega 3 please click Omega 3 Deficiency Test (at home finger prick blood)

Vitamin E

Vitamin E is another powerful antioxidant and has been shown to increase fertility when given to both men and women. Men going for IVF treatment with their partners have been given vitamin E, and fertilisation rates have, as a result, increased from 19 to 29 percent. It has been suggested that the antioxidant activity of vitamin E might make the sperm more fertile.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C is also an antioxidant, and studies show that vitamin C enhances sperm quality, protecting sperm and the DNA within it from damage. Some research has indicated that certain types of DNA damage in the sperm can make it difficult to conceive in the first place, or it can cause an increased risk of miscarriage if conception does take place. If DNA is damaged, there may be a chromosomal problem in the baby, should the pregnancy proceed. Whether or not DNA damage does have these effects has not been conclusively proven, but it’s worth taking vitamin C and the other antioxidants as a precautionary measure.

Vitamin C also appears to keep the sperm from clumping together, making them more motile.

One study has shown that women taking the drug clomiphene to stimulate ovulation will have a better chance of ovulating if vitamin C is taken alongside the drug. Clomiphene does not always work in every woman, but the chances are often increased when vitamin C is supplemented.

Beta-Carotene

This is the vegetable precursor to Vitamin A and is completely safe during pregnancy. Beta-carotene is a powerful antioxidant which helps to protect egg and sperm DNA from damage by harmful free radicals which can affect the quality of both the egg and sperm. Free radicals are highly unstable and set off a process called oxidation which can have harmful effects on the every cell in the body. Beta- carotene will be contained in your multivitamin and mineral.

L-Arginine

 This is an amino acid found in many foods and the head of the sperm contains an exceptional amount of this nutrient, which is essential for sperm production. Supplementing with L-arginine can help to increase both the sperm count and quality.

Note: People who have herpes attacks (either cold sores or genital herpes) should not supplement with L-arginine because it stimulates the virus.

L-Carnitine

This amino acid is essential for normal functioning of sperm cells. According to research, it appears that the higher the levels of L-Carnitine in the sperm cells, the better the sperm count and motility.

Furthermore, by adopting a healthier lifestyle you will be more likely to prevent fertility problems which is discussed in detail in the rest of this ebook which you can read by clicking on Understanding Fertility ebook at The Natural Health Practice

Herbs

 Herbal treatment is aimed at restoring hormone imbalances, and encouraging ovulation if it is not occurring. It will also give you the best possible chance of maintaining a pregnancy.

Agnus Castus (Vitex Agnus Castus)

 This is the herb of choice for helping to restore hormone imbalance and increasing fertility. In one study 48 women diagnosed with infertility took agnus castus daily for three months, 7 of them became pregnant during that time and 25 of them regained normal progesterone levels.

Agnus castus is particularly helpful for those women who have a luteal phase defect (shortened second half of the cycle) or those with high prolactin levels, because it stimulates the proper functioning of the pituitary gland which controls the hormones.

Agnus castus works to restore hormonal balance and can be used where there are hormone deficits as well as excesses it:

• Regulates periods
• Restarts periods which have stopped
• Helps with heavy bleeding
• Increases the ratio of progesterone to oestrogen by balancing excess oestrogen.

Evening Primrose Oil

Increase Cervical Mucous

EPO has been used by herbalists for hundreds of years to increase cervical mucous.  Cervical fluid is necessary for allowing the sperm to swim freely through the cervix. Some of us have low or no cervical fluid, so it is harder for the sperm to move and there may not be a friendly environment for the sperm to sustain themselves.

The suggested usage for increasing cervical mucous using EPO is initially 500mg, three times a day for a total of 1500mg per day. If you don’t get results in your first cycle, you may want to increase your usage to 3,000 mg a day in your next cycle.  If you are actively trying to conceive do not use EPO after ovulation because this herb has an action on the uterus.  You can learn more about this below.

Fertility Blend How it Works

The amino acid, L-carnitine, has been shown to be critical to the formation of healthy sperm.
• Vitamins C and E, green tea and selenium are all potent antioxidants that help improve sperm counts and quality.
• The antioxidant ferulic acid is found in Dong Quai, has also been shown to improve sperm quality.
• Ingredients zinc and B vitamins (B6, B12 and folate) are critical nutrients in male reproductive systems for several benefits, including hormone metabolism, sperm formation and motility.

FertilAid for Women features a patented[1], proprietary formula that integrates complete preconception vitamin and mineral support with herbal ingredients like chasteberry (vitex) and red clover blossom - designed to help restore female hormonal balance, promote regular ovulation, and support overall reproductive wellness. Doctor-designed FertilAid for Women has helped tens of thousands of women to conceive.

FertilAid for Men offers an effective, patented[2] formula that includes L-Carnitine and a comprehensive array of potent antioxidants to help optimize male fertility safely and naturally. Clinically validated and formulated on the basis of established scientific research, FertilAid for Men promotes healthy sperm development, and helps improve sperm count, motility, and morphology. Recommended by leading fertility specialists, FertilAid for Men has helped tens of thousands of men improve their sperm parameters.

From The Eye's Of A Convert

       As many of you know I am  in the process of going through 

RCIA classes at home through  Catholic Home Study Service.

                                          ( link will be posted below ) 

 I was so excited today in order to get a new package today. From the Catholic Home Study Service . The Privilege Of Being Catholic!  

I love that I can get the books mailed right to me and have the options of doing the testing online or by mailing it back into them.

So far these books are very well written and truly are teaching me things. That I might have known once but it has brought the love of the Catholic faith into my home. 

I enjoy reading all of he books so far and I can not wait to share with all of you the information I have learned. From this new book and from this program. I know that there are many people out there who feel as if they do not understand the Catholic faith. As it is for there own reasons who have thought about taking these class simply to learn. 

I am honored to be able to do this class work in my own home.

To be able to review it and tell everyone about it. 

I know there are so many looking to do these classes in their own home. I would love to hear more information about 

how everyone else who is taking this program is enjoying it. 

Is it everything you thought it would be?

Are you enjoying the books?

Do you have questions that are not being answered in these books so far?

Do you want more information?

Do you need a new group of ladies to fellowship with?

( Link To Catholic Home Study Service )

Start Your Catholic Journey

What makes you different?

   ( Words from my past )

               Sitting here thinking, wondering about how things are, why things are the way they are! Why is it so many of my friends think I have it so easy. I have my Buttface (my nick name for my husband for those who do not know ) in my life who loves me with all of his heart, amazing kids, I am making new friends every day of the week and I am becoming happier and happier with each passing moment. My very best friend brought something to my attention with out even knowing that she did. Though out the years she along with a  few other people in my group. Have made me feel like I have always had it so easy in my life. I know I didn't and they know as well however there is the one thing that makes me different then they are. I don't accept anything less then the best, I work my butt off to make sure my life and the lives of my children and my MR are the best that they can be. I work day in and day out to make sure that the home I live in is as good as it can be. That my children don't leave the house with out looking proper and acceptable. I try my hardest to leave my house representing my husband. I want to reach for the stars and do an amazing job at everything I do!

           I try so hard to help each and every person who comes into my life and yet some people decide that they don't want to be better off then they were yesterday. Some people decide that they want to stay just as they are in yet they complain as if the world hates them so much. If you make your life harder then its going to be hard! Decide to change your life and it will be changed! you don't need to keep pretending that you don't need help because we all need help from time to time. If you want a better or different life then get off your butt and get a different life! I know that many people see my thoughts on this subject as mean, a pain in the butt, rude, controlling, and straight up unfair! however if you want a change you have to go out there and make it happen your self you cant just expect it to be given to you on a silver platter! That is not how life works at all! People are out there every day changing there lives so why cant you? What makes you different could  be the key to changing your whole life if you allow it to. Its all in what you allow to change your life, what you allow to control you life. Don't get stuck in the mind set of someone who doesn't want a better life, change is good! Even if we don't see it now we will in the future change is a good thing and no matter what we do we cant stop the on going change of the world!

So sit down and think about what makes you different from the rest of the world?
What can change your life for the better?

Information Every Wife Needs To Know!

            There are so many things to learn and I honestly can not get enough of the information. I am so an information junkie and I know it! 
However I hope that my being an information junkie will help those of you out there who don't stay online learning as much as you can about this life while your man is sleeping because you cant for the life of you sleep at night for some reason! lol  ( link to the page is at the bottom of this post )


           Military Marriage: 10 Things You Might Not Know

1. Military couples put duty first -- not their marriages. 
While common marriage advice holds that a person should place his or her marriage above all else, military spouses often don't. Living with this reality often requires a lot of patience, said Alison Perkins, who serves as the editor of a military spouse resource website,SaluteToSpouses.com. "In a military marriage, duty is first; everything else second,” said Perkins, who lives in Honolulu with her husband, an active-duty soldier in the Army, and their four children.
2. Military wives are not as likely to cheat as their deployed husbands.
A misconception about military marriage is that it frequently involves infidelity, according to Perkins. "People sometimes assume that lots of military wives cheat when their husbands deploy," she said. "I don't doubt that it happens. But in my experience, it isn’t as common as military husbands having an affair with a female soldier while overseas." 
"I know many couples that divorced as a result of a relationship that began in the war zone," Perkins said. "It is a huge, unaddressed issue that can cause significant stress for military spouses."
"There would be rumors about military wives hanging out at the clubs while their husbands were in the field," said Sgt. First Class Kent Phyfe. "Being a career soldier, I can say that ... while not unheard of, it does not happen very much at all." 
"The military is a cross section of our society, and just as in civilian communities, there are always promiscuous men and women," hd said. "The type of work soldiers deal with tend to attract partners that have similar attractions to duty, honor and commitment," added Phyfe, who served in the Army from 1980 to 1996 and now works with VetDogs, an organization that provides guide, service and therapy dogs to members of military with a disability.
3. Military spouses can lose their sense of self, since their partners' career of service often takes precedence over theirs. 
Laura DiSilverio spent 20 years in the Air Force. Her daughter was not yet 2 and she was pregnant with her second child when she found out that she would be stationed in England. The entire family picked up and moved abroad and her husband became a stay-at-home dad. “I had a squadron command that was very demanding, so [Tom] took up the slack at home," recalled DiSilverio, who has been married 19 years to her husband, an Air Force reservist.
"It was very challenging for him to take on that role with virtually no support system in a foreign country," she said. "A lot of military spouses have trouble with their sense of identity, especially when the kids get older. It's especially hard on men who are socialized to get such a large part of their sense of self from their careers." 
But, just because the career of a military spouse takes precedence at one point, that doesn't mean it always will. "Marriage is about sacrifice, about one person's job taking precedence right now, with the understanding that the other spouse’s needs will take precedence in the future," DiSilverio said. When she retired in 2004, she and her husband switched roles and she became the stay-at-home parent. 
"My husband sacrificed his career goals for most of the years that I was on active duty, with the understanding that I would retire," she said. Now, DiSilverio writes mystery novels and parents her kids full time. “Spying was easier,” she said. Her ninth novel is scheduled to come out in June.
4. Military spouses can have a harder time finding work than their partners who served. 
Marie Ruediger, from San Diego, Calif., said that she has been seeking employment since March 2011 but has not had a single interview. Even though she expects to earn her master's degree this year, employers seem to be more interested in speaking about job opportunities to her husband, who retired from the Navy in 2010.
"Whenever folks learn that I am the wife of a military veteran, they always ask for my husband to be the person that they hire," she said. "It's ironic because my husband does not want to be the primary breadwinner now; he wants to go to school to get his bachelor's degree. We had even agreed that I should be the primary breadwinner [now that he's retired] because I have the academic background.”
5. Military couples can't plan anything in advance -- not even their kids' birthday parties -- which can continually test their marriages. 
“Before I could plan my son's fifth birthday party next month, my husband had to put a request in to make sure he would not be put on duty that weekend and miss it,” Perkins said. Her husband's schedule is set only a month in advance and it's very hard for him to change it. “Any day that you absolutely need to have off, you should request a leave day," she said. "You cannot make plans until it is approved."
"And even then they can withdraw your leave if they need you to work, regardless of what you have planned," Perkins said. "It can be very frustrating."
Perkins believes that she's learned a thing or two about resilience from being a military spouse. "Ever try moving 4,000 miles with three kids, a very pregnant wife and a large dog with only six weeks' notice?" she asked. “That alone could make or break you as a couple. Now, try doing it a half a dozen times or more over the course of a marriage. You either learn to work together or you break apart trying.” 

6. The logistical aspects of being a military spouse can be a welcome distraction from the fact that your spouse could die at any moment.
DiSilverio compares the fear of her husband getting hurt -- or worse -- in the field to a constant headache, "always lurking, keeping you a bit more on edge than you would normally be." When her husband was deployed to Iraq, her daughters were 3 and 5 and she was working as a deputy group commander. 
"I almost welcomed the logistical difficulties of keeping our lives running, of coordinating day care and school and job and activities because it kept my mind occupied so I didn’t dwell on the danger [my husband] Tom might be in," DiSilverio said.
Phyfe said that because the stakes of service are so high, military marriages require a certain degree of strength, which he said can ultimately help keep military couples together. "[We] deal with life and death daily so the fear that has to be overcome is something that creates a friendship and love like no other," he said. 
7. Homecomings might be happy, but they aren’t easy on either spouse. 
Many people think that coming home is the best part, Phyfe said. While the reunion is great, he said that his wife "readily admits" that the process of him reintegrating back into their family life is one of the hardest parts about being a military couple. 
"While I was away 'doing Army things,' my wife had to be the wife/husband/mother/father all rolled into one and handled all of the other daily chores. When I came home, I wanted to jump in and take back those roles that I felt were mine," he says. "My wife did not want to go through the process of releasing those duties only to be thrust back into them again at a moment’s notice. This strain of that coming and going is amplified in a military family."
8. The military is culturally progressive when it comes to marriage. 
While the military as an institution might be perceived as being overly traditional -- even closed-minded -- when it comes to marriage, Ruediger believes that the military made her interracial relationship possible. She is an Asian-Pacific Islander, while her husband is white. The military gave her husband exposure to different ethnic backgrounds, she said. 
"My paternal grandfather was in the U.S. Army, my older brother was in the U.S. Navy, and I grew up on Guam, U.S.A., which is very diverse," Ruediger said. "So my parents were more accepting of our marriage compared to my husband’s rural Missouri relatives, who have not been as tolerant because their community is primarily white." 
9. Married service members can't share details of their work with their spouses, which can be frustrating to both partners.
When most spouses come home, they swap stories about their days. Military spouses can't let each other in on some of the biggest details about their jobs. "One of the hardest things is not being allowed access to what your spouse really does," DiSilverio said.
"I was an intelligence officer doing highly classified work, and I couldn't talk about it with my husband, kids or friends. They couldn’t visit my office, except maybe for a Christmas party, and so felt distanced from what I did every day." Most civilian spouses can relate to what their wives and husbands do each day when they hold familiar jobs -- like teacher, lawyer or accountant, she said. "Not so with the spouse who flies an F-22 or serves as a C-130 loadmaster."
10. For military spouses, respect for their partner's service can make the time apart more bearable. 
"People assume that deployments, weird work schedules and frequent moves put too much stress on marriages," DiSilverio said. "Those things do stress marriages, but military couples seem to have coping mechanisms or realistic expectations or something that enable them to weather the separations and anxiety." 
This hardiness might have something to do with the pride that spouses feel for their partners’ willingness to serve and the deep sense of respect this fosters.
"It's uplifting to know your spouse is serving the nation, defending this country, not just chasing the almighty dollar," she said. “My husband is retiring from the reserves this summer after 30 years, and thinking about his passion for the military and the sacrifices he’s made -- career-wise and family-wise -- to serve his country can bring me to tears. He's the best person I know."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/26/military-marriage-10-thin_n_1537543.html

Review of the book " Married to the Military " A Survival Guide for Military Wive, Girlfriends and Women in uniform "

Alright everyone has been talking about this awesome book, telling me to read it as soon as I can no matter what I said they simply wouldn't let up! So here you all good! My review of the book Married To The Military! 

      I am not going to sit here and pretend that I read a lot of the Military Spouse books that are out there. Lord knows I haven't read any of them ( I am working on it as we speak! lol ) I love to read however I never thought that I would care about what these books had to say. I am shocked in so many way for so many reasons. I loved this book and I can not wait to read the next Military Spouse book on my list ( which happens to be " The Army Wife Handbook, because well this book had a lot of great information in it however I want to know a lot more I can't learn enough about this life I am jumping into head first! ) the things I learned are priceless. I can not explain all of the reasons why I feel like every female or male for that matter! Who decides to be with someone in uniform needs to stop what they are doing and go read this book right now! It was the BEST $14.00 I ( okay fine my Mr ) ever spent. It hit every topic I wanted to know about and then some, The break down of Military life mixed in with real life stories was perfect and just what I needed to feel better about this life I have started. I feared I wouldn't be able to relate to the other ladies in this life that they were all young , just out of high school. I am not scared to admit that I WAS WRONG! ( if you know me out side of my blog you know that holy crap that doesn't happen very often but YES I just said it and well of course its not online where the whole world can see it! lol ) The other Girlfriends, Wives to be, and Wives are just like me ( most of them at least ) they are just like I am in way more ways that I honestly would have never thought about if I hadn't came across the book. ( okay so kicked into is more like it Thanks to my best friend Terrie MacLean who told me about the book to start with and is the reason I ended up buying it even though I'm not sure that she knows that at this time.) I am not going to lie I do have some amazing best friends who also happen to be Army Wives and who keep me in line and up to date when I get lost and need someone to vent, ramble, yell, scream, and well just talk to. ( Terrie MacLean, Kellie Mckenzie and a few other ladies who will be around I'm sure to yell at me via comment and explain everything about the Army to me as I go along my way lol ) 

           There were so many things in this book that I feel like everyone needs to know however I know that once I start I may never stop. So I am sorry for everyone who has not yet read the book if I give you more information then you wanted to know. There are many reasons why everyone should read this book and here they are in no set order.

1. The break down of what you have to do right after you get married ( getting your id, POA etc. )
    I am not yet a Army wife ( I'm not going to lie I do believe that some time from today until a year or so from now that I will be a very Proud Army Wife to my amazing MR. ) however if and when that day does come for me I know that I will have way less problems and fears about getting everything done. The break down of how everything works made me feel so much better because I honestly had no idea how all the paper work really works. 

 2. Explaining the ranks and how they work!
    I honestly had no clue about the ranks in the Army I  knew what my Mr's rank is and how long he has been that rank and well that is all I knew and understood. I never thought about it before however I am so happy I know now and I will be keeping the book not so far away in the future when my MR asks me questions or starts rambling on about the high or lower ranking people he works with. Not only is it a break down of the Army ranks, but Marine Corps, Air Force, Navy and Coast Guard! so ladies I am sorry I ramble so much about the Army but well that is my mans branch I don't mean to make any one feel as if they were left out. 

3. Deal with a man who is a career Military man is way different then I am use to for many reasons. The Career tracker has proven to be a life saver!
    I know that I want to travel the world with my amazing family. However I never knew that there was a guy " the jobguy " as it is called in the book.  There will pretty much be a helpful buddy to have when deciding where we would like to live through out his career. No there is no set thing that says that you can get duty stations simply because you want them however I never even knew you had the option of saying where you would like to be stationed at! That was awesome to find out and made me feel asif I have a little more control in my life even if it is just the thought that counts. lol 

4. The Master relocation Check list! Lord help me I fell in love and I haven't even PCS'ed ever , yet!
   okay so I fell in love for so many reasons! to start with I am scared to death of PSC'ing! I want to get out and see the world however geeze I never knew how much went into moving a whole house and family to anywhere in the world. Nor did I know the Military paid for movers to do it all for you if you want them to or they will give you the money to move your self. That will be a large help because well I have two kids fulltime , a step son to be and my Mr who I will have to deal with moving and all that mess pretty much on my own from what I have read. I don't know what that will be like yet but Lord this Master List is being put where I can find it forever and always so I will know what to do when that day comes!

5. Marriage Hoo-ah! was an all around awesome chapter!Along with Preventing Trouble in Paradise.
   I can not say how much I loved this chapter it broke down so many things that I really had a lot of questions about. Not to count deployment information. I know that deployment is coming there is no question about that however I am scared to death of it. I don't know how other people make a marriage work and keep everything together while there other half is gone for a year at a time. I am not going to lie and say that I am not scared to death still however I feel like, well like I am not alone in this life. No matter where we go, what we do there will be other spouse's around no matter what going through what I am going through, so I will never really be alone. I may fall apart, go nuts and stay in my pjs a lot more then I do now. However I will live and he will be back in my arms one day. This life isn't easy but Lord I feel like its not as bad as I thought it was to start with. lol The things that she wrote about the signs that a marriage will or wont work well I know what to look out for so that when we do get married ( Fingers crossed lol ) we will have a great marriage that will with stand not only the test of time but the test of the Military! and for that I am blessed to have gotten a chance to read this book!

6. Really Stupid Acronyms and Jargon!
   Holy Cow! I  do not understand anything when it comes to Acronyms! its sounds like a whole new language to me. I have had something explained to me from my Mr and my friends  however I didn't understand most of it I mostly just said " okay" I figured it would make them stop talking because I didn't understand a word they were saying anyhow lol ( I know I will catch heck when they read this if they ever read this, but well I can live with that lol )  I understand way more now then I thought I ever would and I plan to keep trying to learn them so that one day maybe I will be in the place to teach someone else what they and this chapter has taught me!


There are so many reasons to read this book in my opinion however lets be honest you have to go out but it, check it out, or heck if you need it and you live near me come borrow mine anytime! This book is a refreshing take on all of the awful stories I have heard about being with a Military man. I hope that everyone enjoys it as much as I did!