Okay Lets get real!
The hardest part about being a Military Spouse is the deployments and training. Yes I know so many people like to throw quotes out there like.
" You knew what you were getting into when you married him dont complain "
" Oh my husband goes out of town to work I know how you feel "
" I wish my husband would go out of town like that you are so lucky "
" Y'all have so many benefits if we got everything for free like that I would be okay with my husband being gone all of the time "
or my personal favorite
" You get to email him, and video chat so its not as hard as you pretend it is "
No words have made me angry as fast as those people out there who like to act like we have it easy.
I know we dont have it as hard as some people out there in the world
however dang it! being apart from your spouse is hard and sucks!
I will never forget the day my husband first told me he was going to be moving across the world.
Right after we got married my husband told me that he was going to be getting orders
some where new. He had no idea where or when he was going to leave.
Days later we found out that my husband was going to be going to AIT!
Across the country to change his MOS and at some point from there
he would be finding out where he would be getting stationed at.
The worst part of all was he was going to have to leave on
MY BIRTHDAY!
I was angry and hurt but I knew " what I signed up for "....
( complete crap if you ask me but thats another post lol )
The days passed quickly and before we knew it he was off to the Airport
I was crying my eyes out wishing for just one more day .... hour or anything.
Just so I could keep my newly wed husband for a little longer.
He boarded the plain and off he went to start his training
Little did I truly know just how much our lives
would be changing.
He went through all of his training and come graduation day I sat and watched as they
marched in. One by one being called out.
Before I knew it , it was over and it was time to say good bye again.
( Photo shoot of me and my hubby at
Fort Leonard Wood MO )
He had gotten orders for South Korea and was leaving
shortly after graduation.
We talked about it often trying to decide if I should try to go with him.
However with a custody battle and kids there was no chance of us being able to go.
His job took up pretty much all of his time and with the time difference it meant when we were able to talk that he had to lose sleep. How he made it through I truly don't know.I know he was my rock through the long day and even longer nights.
Were were one of the unlucky ones, my husband didnt get to have his mid tour leave.
through everything we dealt with his hardship tour to South Korea almost broke our family apart.
Not because of cheating , or because he was being dishonest but because we were apart.
Only 6 weeks after getting married we were apart for 14 very long months.
The idea that we could make it through the year in Korea was one thing but the reality of the matter is that you should never decide to stay back. You should be with your spouse every chance you can no matter what you have to do. There is no reason good enough to have to stay in a different country as your spouse for any period of time.
Take it from a a wife who struggled with it and a family that now has to deal with the after math.
Of our family being apart for way too long.
Trying to get back together and be a family is harder then you think.
The doctors say it takes about 6 months to get back into a normal routine where you can feel like your family is whole again. However who wants to go 6 months like that?
Who wants to watch their spouse seem lost, confused and all around hurt because he so use to being alone that being together seems painful?
I know that this is not everyones story of the hardship tour to Korea but its ours.
If you have a story you would like to share of guest blog please email me at
CatholicHomeschoolingArmyWife@gmail.com
I know I couldnt have made it through that year with out the support of the Army wives around me!
If you need someone remember Im here for you!
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