The Broke Wife's Christmas Plan

December 25th ..... Of every single year ..... Christmas happens.

Every year we know it is coming and every single year we hear the same things asked.

All over social media, there are people asking.

 How to get Christmas gifts for less?

How to pay for Christmas gifts?

What places are offering free Christmas gifts to those in need?

Well, I have been the family in need. The single mother working a million hours a day but still not able to pay the bills and give my kids the Christmas I thought they deserved. 

It has been a while since I have been there but I have picked up a few tricks along the way. 

Heres my list of how you can provide your kids or loved ones with the gifts that you want to get them. For free or a fraction of the cost it would normally cost you. 

1. Microsoft Rewards! 

( Get Your Rewards Here )

Okay so this one is so simple a child could do it, But I believe they have to be 18 years old. I could be wrong and it could be 13 years old. You will have to do your own research on that matter. 

However, it is honestly so very simple. 

You log in on your phone/tablet/laptop and you do the items listed there for points. 

Searching Bing on a laptop or desktop computer you get a set amount of points.

As well as for mobile searches either a cell phone or tablet. 

It takes about  10 minutes a day to do and the rewards are so worth it.

You can shop on the Microsoft store, Xbox store, play station store as well as to donate to a number of causes. 

But My daughters favorite is that I can get her Starbucks gift cards to use on my Starbucks account.

The points add up pretty quickly. 

This year I bought my son the wrestling Xbox one game that he has been wanting all year. 

It was 100% free thanks to Microsoft rewards. I will have at least one month if not 2 to 3 months worth of FREE Xbox live gift cards by the time Christmas gets here.

So my kids can play online with their friends and yall be smart add a prepaid card on your live accounts so that your child can not. Spend $100's on crazy things online that they do not need. ( Be smart about your childs online gaming if you allow it. only allow them to play woth people they know. My kids can only play with their cousins or friends that I know very well. ) 

2. VeryDice 

This is an app you download on your tablet or phone. 

All you do is roll the dice and you get free things from Amazon. 

( with free 2-day shipping )

You can do many things to get extra rolls such as surveys, watch 30 seconds or fewer videos.

It is one of my kid's favorite games to play. 

I have gotten 20 free items over the past year from this app. 

Last Christmas we used it and got 8 gifts for my kids Christmas. 

This year so far we have about 6 Christmas gifts and about 6 birthday gifts. 

I have even gotten a $55 water table for our 2-year-olds birthday. 

This game is so much fun and I can't wait to see what other items I will get for free for my kids. 

3. Shopping Sales

Yes, I know that this is no secret, However, it is one that so many don't use as often as they should. 

I buy my kids many clothing items after the season is over and they have huge clothing sales. Places such as Crazy8 and Children's Place often have shirts and shorts for $1 or less and Jeans as low as $3 to $4 each. 

I buy a size bigger so that my children are currently in so that they will have them next year.

That way they have clothes ready and willing whenever the next season comes. 

I am a mother of four so let me tell you that when I see that price in my cart I get excited.

More so when I see the value of the items at 200% more than I paid in most cases.

I have never been so proud as I am when I get to tell my hubby all the money I saved.... Though I admit that I do wait until the huge boxes show up at my door and I see my husbands face. The shock of " oh my goodness wife how much money did you spend this time." It makes my heart happy to know that I am saving my family so much money. 

Plus ya know a wife has to be able to get her amusement somewhere. 

Cooking Class Is Underway

Have you ever questioned why teaching children to cook is no longer a thing?

.... You see all these fast food places taking over. 

So many people are just deciding that it is easier to go out to eat than learning what for

me has always been a basic skill. 

Military kids have to have as many skills as they can get. Life is hard enough without

going out in the world not knowing how to care for yourself. 

So My older two have been learning to cook simple fun recipes. She searched pinterest,

had a set budget and had full control of what she was going to make. 

She has been learning so many skills and I love getting help with some of my things around  our house. I have enough to do being a stay at home mom with four kids to care for plus my husband of course. 

For her first big meal, Hayley made a wonderful dish from another blogger. ( Click  Here for the awesome recipe. ) 

She made SLOW COOKER CREAMY SUN DRIED TOMATO CHICKEN

The love she has for learning to cook even though it is in the crock pot is so exciting. 

She knows that no matter what at least she will not starve once she goes off to college. 

( though she wants to live with her Nonna and Papa for college )

Watching your child learn is the most amazing thing. 

This wasn't a difficult recipe to make by any means but oh let me tell you it was actually really good.

She stayed in budget and is so proud to know that the skills she is learning right now will be skills she will use her whole life. 

After Breakfast Hayley took on the task of wanting to make something fun.

She wanted to go get some scones from our favorite bakery here on post but it simply was not in our new Dave Ramsey budget.

She found a prepackaged scone mix and gave it a try! 

The Sticky Fingers Bakeries Premium Scone Variety Mix was perfect

for her to try out. She loved how simple it was and how for once she could understand clearly what the directions are. She often gets very annoyed with baking directions. 

These took only 15 minutes to bake and they were amazing!

If you're looking for a fun and simple scone for you or your child to make.

I highly recommend giving these a try. 

- Thank was our Funky Military Kid Cooking Friday!

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend and try out these awesome recipes. 

Comment and let us know if you love cooking with your child and share any of your favorite recipes or links!

My Money Wins Of The Year So Far -VeryDice Scores

I have gotten this question from  A LOT of people through out the past few months on social media. 

So here it is! 

In July 2017 I learned about one of my favorite apps and it changed my life! As I started looking into the Dave Ramsey - Total Money Makeover Book and his program. ( I will post a link to my Dave Ramsey post  later )  I knew I needed to find something to help me learn everything that I never learned about money growing up. I needed to find a way to get my family the things that they want and need at the same time I needed to stop spending money. 

We started the Dave Ramsey journey to make a better happier future for our family. But Let me just tell you that I LOVE to shop online. I love the happiness it brings my family and friends. 

After reading on a Dave Ramsey facebook group about this app that was easy and fun to play as well as you can earn things off of Amazon. I questioned what it was and then said the heck with it and downloaded it. 

It was the BEST decision I could have made and Thanks to that App I have now been happily using for the past year. I have stopped buying my kids Birthday gifts, Christmas of 2017 I bought my kids 4 gifts each just from that app. I paid using my tickets and since I have not paid for not one of my kids gifts. 

18 .... yes you read that right 18! Free items later ranging in prices from $10 to $55 each.

( Things I got my daughter for her birthday reading corner - Light up letter H, Travel coffee cup and a bible journal. Since one of my goals this year was to help each of my kids grow closer to God. 

I got my oldest son throw down baseball bases, a prayer journal, and baseball hitting grip. He is working hard on his baseball skills so he can join the local team this next season. My youngest son For Christmas has a baseball book and Mickey Mouse magnets as he loves Mickey Mouse and wants something to play with on the fridge or in his play room magnet board. Our sweet youngest baby girl has a book for Christmas as we do the 5 gifts plus santa gift thing for Christmas. All items not pictured will be added shortly as I have them put up so the kids wont find them. For Our youngest son I got him a water table for his 2nd birthday and boy let me tell you he has gotten so much joy out of it. )

This app is simple! you start off with 30 FREE rolls ( use my friend Code 397043 ) 

You can watch videos, down load apps, sign up for things like hulu, do surveys or of course pay to get more rolls. ( I however do not pay for the rolls, they give you so many options that I personally dont think it is needed to pay for the rolls. )

You get 30 extra rolls for every friend who uses your friend code. ( mine is 397043 )
This game is the best game I have found out there.

I love the 2 days shipping, the mail lady and I have become very good friends at this point.

I have a LONGGGGG list of items on my future shopping list. Christmas for this year my goal is that I will get most of my kids Christmas gifts off of VeryDice. Last year I got half of their gifts off of of very dice so I feel like its a go big or go home kind of thing this year. 

The Search For Me With 23andMe

Saturday, January 10th, 1987

The day that started and changed everything for me.
It is where I started and where all of the lies and questions began to form.

Saturday, January 10th, 1987 was the day I was born.

From that moment on, every breath I would take and every moment I got I had to fight for. Not only from the normal things but from being a 35 weeker who was born about 4 pounds. A Mother who was a drug addict, with serious daddy issues. Who felt having kids would keep what ever man in her life. A woman who knew nothing of what it truly meant to be a mother to any of the children she birthed.

I fought to get a sense of myself and who I am  from a very young age. Feeling like everything I knew or thought I knew about my family was just more and more lies. As the years have gone by I have learned that the foundation of my " family. " Was based on lies that we were all told by my Grandmother, Mother and Father. To put it simply my grandmother was never married to my grandfather. He was married to another women in another state and had children with her. He was married to her until the day he died. ( before I was born ) This simple fact changed the way I seen my grandmother, not that I had a high opinion of her to start with. That fact explained so much for me about why my family was so small compared to the ones I grew up with. There was no family beyond my grandmother, my mother and her two sisters and older brother ( who lived in another state and we never got to see ) It explained why my grandmother wouldn't answer questions and why I had only seen a picture of my grand father once in my life. It explained why I have never gotten to meet any of the Rogers family that I was part of.

My mother was married to my father for years and he was around here and there. We spend a few summers with him but he was never a real dad. Never like the ones everyone else seemed to have nor was he like the step fathers and other men in my mothers life who seemed to come and go. He was there when he was there and not when he was not and that is just that. The information I know about his family is based on lies I am sure. My mother says that he put himself up for adoption, changed his name from what it once was and from there split from his adopted family. He has no relationship to anyone really from the way he tells it and that was a fight to get out of him as it was. He would rather cut his children out of his life instead of telling any of the 6 or 7 of us about our own family. I was always told he was Italian but that is all I know about him.

A few years ago I decided to really dig deep into where I am from and started researching. At which time I found out that my Grand father on my mothers side had yet another child ( number 11 ) in yet another state with another lady. Who was younger than my mother who was said to be his youngest child. I know that the Rogers family lives in West VA and that they have a family reunion every year. However my bio mother and other family I have no relationship with attends every year and that is why I am not ever going to get an invite. I found out that one of my great great ( many greats ) grand fathers was a Captin during the American Revolution. I started the search of proof for what I need to join the DAR ( Daughters of the American Revolution, an amazing non profit group ) In hopes that I can join and not only volunteer but find out more about my family.

I also found out that my Great grand father  Charles Rogers ( like 5 times to that great or maybe 4 )  came to American from Ireland. For what reason I am unsure as there seem to be a few different stories out there. But anyhow I know nothing really other than what I have found on different family tree websites along with a full family tree for the Rogers family leading all the way back to Charles Rogers but that is where I his a brick wall.

When it comes to my grandmothers side of the family on my mothers side I know pretty much nothing beyond my grand mothers maiden name.

.... So with all of this information I prayed for years about what to do and how I might have a chance at finding more answers. With hardly any information I know that this is very hard to do and I haven't known where to turn to next.

Well that is up until July 16th 2018 when I took a huge step that I have thought and prayed about many many times. I bought the 23andMe DNA and health test to find out if it is possible to find more information with out my family helping me.

On July 22nd, 2018 ( yes a Sunday because it was harder to send it than I thought. ) My amazing oldest daughter helped me by dropping it in the ' big blue thing. ' It was harder to take this step for me not because I don't want to know. It is because I am scared to death about it being another road block to  the answers I crave. I know that sounds so silly but I know not everyone has family members pop up on there. I also know some people have had issues getting results to find out what regions they are from. But here I am sitting and waiting for these results. I am about a week into the waiting process and it freaking sucks!

From what I have read this process can take any where from 6 to 8 weeks on average but I know that some people have had results in a less as 3 weeks. I of course am trying not to get my hopes up too much but it's hard to not get hopeful for early results. I am at the 1st green dot (2nd if your on a laptop but 1st on my cell ) as of this moment where they have not yet gotten my little box. ( Y'all the tracking number is pointless at this point when the updates from the USPS are total crap just saying it went from one place to the next but no longer say where the place is located. )

So that is where I am at and I will update as this process moves along. In hopes that I get some answers to the questions I have always had.

** Update so they are updating something and it will take even longer to get my results. That just not what anyone wants to wake up and read. When they are waiting on results that can answer so many questions they have asked all their lives. However at least I know that at some point I will get my results... maybe .... I think at least but it has felt like forever since I sent this little box off.  **

( all pictures used on this post are my property, do not use these pictures with out first getting written consent from me. )

The Place I Have Always Belonged

Today …. a long year after my last post.

I sit in a place in my life that I have been waiting to hit. The point where I have always dreamed of being. The place I have planned for, talked about and waited what feels like a million life times for.

You know that dream you have for yourself. The one you have dreamt of since you where a little kid?

Like the center of an amazing melting center of your favorite candy bar.
The moment you get the item you have worked so very hard for.
When you get your very first car and freedom you have waited so long for.

Today is that day for me and let me just tell you know that it is the most amazing breath taking time of my life. I couldn't have ever in my life dreamed it would ever be this great.

See I am not like most people or at least not  like most of the people I know or have known.

My biggest dream wasn't some big fancy job. It wasn't a huge house ( Though I will admit I need a larger one than I have most days. ) or a big fancy car/suv/truck. I have always wanted and dreamed of this life.

A crazy, never ending happiness kind of life. The life that I use to day dream about and knew with out a doubt that it was the life I wanted. The life I have always known would be mine one day and oh let me just tell you I could not wait.

Let me just tell you that it is way more amazing than I ever though it could or would be truly.

I am a MOMMY of 4 amazing crazy kids officially!!

I know …. I know …. I am a huge stereotype in many ways when it comes to Military life.

I am a stay at home mom , I have 4 kids so a huge family and to some it may appear like I just keep " popping out " more kids. I am not in the best shape of my life and I pretty much always have yoga pants, a messy bun and a top with baby spit up on it. ( but only while at home or at least that's the lie I tell myself most days. )

However for me, this is it! This is the life I have always dreamed of and it couldn't be any better. My hubby has a job he seems to love, we are learning to set a new path as a family of 6. The kinks are still being worked out but I am honestly loving my life! It is everything I wanted as a child.

It was a long hard pregnancy and the birth of our final baby. Was not what we planned nor was her time after but it has been such a blessing to all be together. ( I will make another post later this week about her birth and the days after. )

Let me just tell y'all as moms we all know when our family is complete and that feeling is hard to explain. I know it's different for everyone but for me I just know I have the life I have always wanted. I have known since I was 12 that I wanted to have 4 kids. ( two boys and two girls ) I wanted to have them close in age but God and secondary infertility had other plans.

I love being a mom to these 4 kids. I cant believe that this is my life and I am so very very blessed to live the life I do. It isn't easy at times and I know its going to be harder when my hubby. Goes off to training, the field and schools that I am sure will come sooner than I would want. However I am happier than I have ever been and I know that Army life doesn't stop just because I have four kids to care for. I know that my hubby and I can handle anything life or the Military has instore for our family.

It still feels like I am dreaming and I honestly am scared that I will wake up at any moment.
It could be the lack of sleep mixed with coffee that has me so excited about being a mommy of four.
But HEY! if it works for me right now than I say pour me another cup and lets do this mommy thing!

This is the place I have always belonged and it feels AMAZING!! To be living the life that I have at this very special moment in my life!

So here's to the sleepless nights, the crazy four kids running amuck. The Military wife life that we all know is never ending stress most of the time. The many many cups of coffee past present and the ones that have yet to be brewed. This life might be crazy but it's all mine!

Before My First FRG Meeting Ever

Sitting here all I can think about is all of the bad things that I have heard and read about the FRG.  ( Family Readiness Group ) There has been time and time again where I have said that I wanted there to be an FRG here at Fort Leavenworth. Yet there still in the past year and a half has not been any hint that there will be a new FRG started at all. 

Until the day that my husband's First Sgt and his girl friend came to the hospital after our youngest son decided to come 6 weeks early. They made it clear that his girl friend was taking the steps to become the FRG leader and that there would be an upcoming meeting. When hearing this I was so excited to be able to actually go to my first FRG meeting but at the same time. I was scared to go to a meeting with out my husband and knowing that my children will be going with me. 

As someone who has never been to an FRG meeting it is something I want to do but I am scared to do it. My husband will be at work so he will not be there with me. I don't know anyone at all here that is part of his unit or heck anyone on post at all. Even though I have tried I have not gotten to know anyone beyond facebook. 

Sitting in my husband truck out side of his company build, with not only our two older children but our baby as well all in tow. I could not make myself get out of the truck no matter how hard I tried. I was scared to death of the horror stories I had heard from other wives or worse happening. I know that every says a " proper " Family Readiness Group was not a wives group, nor a place to have fun and meet people. That It was all about the company and raising money. However I kind of had my hopes deep down in side that I would meet my Leavenworth best friend at the FRG meeting.

I know I know how totally silly of me to think that I would find that person I click with at my very first FRG meeting, or dare I say a whole group of awesome wives to befriend. I knew it had to be done so I took a deep breathe and told the kids to get out and " lets do this thing I guess." Oh buddy let me just tell you that a side from there of course my husband First Sgt's nice girl friend no one really spoke. There wasn't a real chance to make friends and honestly if it wasn't for my husband thinking I should keep trying to be part of this whole thing. I would never go back like seriously never in my life. It wasn't that the wives were awful or that the meeting was really that bad. It was just the officer ( whom rank or name I could not tell you if I tried ) who is running the FRG made the whole meeting a business meeting. It wasn't fun or friendly in any way what so ever in my opinion. He's comments about " the frg not being for wives to talk and it's not a wives club " Made me want to get up then and there and leave. It wasn't so much of what he said but how he said it. As if we were just a bunch of fat ugly, worthless wives who had nothing better to do  then drag out kids to a cold building. To listen to him put us down and act as if he was too good to even be bothering with the frg meetings at all.

I get it really I do but come on, there was only like 4 wives there to start with and some random guys. Some the husbands of those wives and others that were clearly forced to be there. It was uncomfortable enough with out his making his speech about how this is an FRG it is just for information. It is not for fun blah blah blah. Come on now!!

I think I get it , or at least more to the point I get what some men are like when it comes to the FRG. It is not fun and lets face it with the job my husband is doing. He is not going to deploy and heck there isn't really any field training at all. So I am questioning why we cant talk an and enjoy our selves to an extent at the frg meeting. Why can't it be more fun and less like school where you have to raise your hand and wait to be called on in order to ever speak? All I can say is that yes I will return to the next meeting and I will put in more of an effort. I will attend events when I can and when my husband can be there with me. As I might get mouthy if the officer act like he is too good to let wives speak to each other. I know it would be the wrong thing to do but sometimes I can not help myself. More so when I am not getting enough sleep as I am a new mom again. lol

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me along the way and taught me about the frg . How if I don't like it I can always become part of it and try to change some things. I am not saying that I can do it, or that I even have time to do it with 3 kids and their going to Seton/ home study program. However for it being my first ever FRG meeting it is not as bad as I thought it was but not as great as I had hoped. I know I need to find other ways to meet other wives of course. This was a good start to learning to put myself out there and not being scared of what other people think of me. If you have any tips about the FRG or anything to do with the military life or how to do fundraising with the FRG please feel free to share.

Threatened Miscarriage .... a newly pregnant woman's fears come to light

      

        I never thought I would hear those words .... not in a million years. I never knew that it was even a " thing " that could happen. 

       Saturday September 5th 2015 I found myself sitting in the waiting room of an ER. Wishing and praying that they would make it all better. My little family was taking a trip to a theme park in Kansas City. Just something fun for us to do all together even though we had just found out that we are expecting another little one. Thus I would not be riding any rides I was only along for the ride and the food. lol  

      My husband so sweetly decided we would go out to lunch after they had road all the rides at the theme park. Sadly that is when everything went oh so very wrong for the baby and I at least. I went into the restroom after feeling slight cramps all day. What I found was honestly one of the times I could feel all my fears coming to life. I found that I was in fact bleeding, not a lot of blood and not bright red blood but enough to scare me. I told my husband and we decided to make a trip to the ER to check on our little one. As we do not yet have a Doctor. 

      After what seemed like forever after we had been taken to the back. All of the test were run and we were waiting on one last thing to finish the work up. An ultrasound to be done so we could " see " our little one. Knowing that we would not be able to see our little one because it was way too early. I was only 3 weeks and 6 days. What we found out was NOT what we thought we would hear. I felt like maybe I was going through a miscarriage again. Maybe if I was lucky the baby would be okay but I honestly did not think that was going to be how it ended. 

     By the grace of God we found out that even though we couldn't see the baby. That I was in fact pregnant however my Hcg levels were very low for how far I was. That lucky for me the bleeding had stopped however they did not know what was going on. They could not tell me if I was in fact losing my baby or not. 
All they could tell me is that I had what they called a " Threatened Miscarriage ." Which is pretty much my body telling me either to slow down or that I am about to lose my baby. 

     They gave me a list of things to do and not to do however I just. I don't understand what happens honestly I just know that in the end I will be spending my days waiting and praying for a blessing. I know that the doctor told me to come back if I can't get into the OBGYN that they are sending me to. That in 3 days I have to have a repeat blood screening done and ultra sound done to see if I lose my baby or not. That if the pain gets worse or the bleeding comes back that I need to go to the ER. 

    Then they sent me on my way and that was it. I just had to go home, try not to stress and wait to see what God has planned. I do not know how to wait. I have never been good at the waiting game so I have been trying to spend my time sleeping and watching tv. Thank God my husband is home for a few days to spend time with me so he is here to help. Deal with the kids and all of the house work. Lucky for him I keep a pretty clean house so there is not much to do but feed the kids and dog. Which for him means that he gets to order food and his problem is solved. 

     .... What I want all of you amazing ladies to know right now is that. I understand what you are going through. I am here for you through every day no matter what you are going through. I have been through a lot in my life time but I know that my baby's life is in Gods hands right now. I know that I will live a stress free life, that I will sit down as much as I can through out the day and I relax and enjoy every day that I have with my little baby every second of every day. 

       The thing that the Doctors don't tell us is that many females go through this. Many females have " Threatened Miscarriages " and they go on to have healthy happy pregnancies. Just because your body is freaking out does not mean that you have to give up on your baby. It means that with some luck every thing will be okay. However if it does not go as planned it is not your fault and there is nothing you could have done differently in order to say your baby. Please don't blame your self , I know I am not the first to say this and I will not be the last. However I know because I know I feel like I am to blame for this on my own life. I just have to keep telling myself that I didn't do this. That I couldn't have stopped it no matter what I did and now comes the awful part of waiting. 

                                                  Be Strong Ladies!

( P.S my hcg levels were 22 at 3 weeks 6 days )

The Army Wife I Didn't Want To Be

        When my now husband and I started talking about marriage. I read all of the negative things about Army wives. 

   

       The blogs about the wives who home school their kids. Who wear yoga pants all the time. Who shop at the local farmers market. Those wives who are stay at home doing play dates. Spend their days taking their kids to the pool and the local parks. Those wives who spend their time at FRG meetings and bake sales.

     Those wives that wear yoga pants all the time though you know they don't do yoga. The ones that home school there kids and do every craft on pinterest. Those wives that they volunteer for the FRG and every volunteer position on post. The kind that are stay at home wives who don't seem to have a life out side of their husband and kids. 

               That was the kind of wife I with out a doubt DID NOT want to be.

  So I did what every wife in that position does. I read all the books I could get my hands on. To learn how to NOT be that kind of wife. Fearing that I too would end up on one of those stupid " Dear Dependa " Facebook pages. You know the ones I'm talking about those pages that post. All the things people send into them about the wives of every branch. Doing what they see as pretty much " bad Military Wife " behavior. 

    

       Those pages give all of the Military wives a bad name. They are disrespectful and just a low down dirty group of unhappy people in my opinion. I feel like the only wives who like those type of pages are the wives or disgruntled ex husbands. Of wives who have cheated or other wise totally broke their hearts.

      I feared that I would be everything I had seen other wives be. Or so I thought.....

      After all the books , all the blogs and everything I heard from other wives. I found out the one thing that I didn't know or didn't think about.

   

  Being a mom is hard! .... being a single mom is beyond hard.... but being a married single mom well that is the hardest!

    No doubt about it I as single mother for 8 very long years .... FORGOT how hard it is. I never thought that all these Army ( Military ) wives were pretty much married single moms. Yes they are married,  Yes I know that means they aren't single. However with husband's who work all the time, deploy for months to a year or longer at a time. Who deal with being a good wife all while being mom and dad most the time. To Their kids  While nurturing  the  relationship between the kids and their father. They flock to the FRG and other volunteers positions to full their time. While their husband us away and so that they can get out of the house. That they can have their own lives out side of their home and give back to their community.

      Those wives wear yoga pants all the time isn't because they are lazy or slobs. It's because yoga pants are freaking comfy and when your life is all about your kids. Who really cares what they look like when your day is filled with babies, cleaning and cooking. Yoga pants are Awesome  lol. 

  

       Those Military wives who homeschool and don't seem to have a life out side of their kids and husband. Well that is simple to see the truth about once you drop your judgment. They homeschool their kids because they don't believe in the school public  system.   ( or for a million other reasons their are to homeschool everyone's is different. ) 

They make their families the center of their world because that's their heart. They are the ones that matter the most at the end if the day. They pick their kids to come first because even though they are blessed enough to have a had working loving husband. Their husbands work long hours and they don't want their kids to feel unloved. They don't want their kids to think that just because daddy works so much. That they are at all forgotten about. They just want to be their to give their kids the best education and life they can.

    For that I now know that all of those Military wives who I see all around. With their hair a hot mess, a large hoodie or tee shirt on. Wearing yoga pants and just trying to keep her kids from killing each other. In the middle of the commissary on pay day.

Those wives are just like you and I. Maybe they don't have it all together the way you try to make yourself think you have it all down. Maybe that wife your sitting their judging online because you think your better. Is just having a bad day or bad week while her husband is away. Maybe you need to drop what your doing and ask if she wants to hang out. Ask her how she is or see if she wants to grab a cup of coffee. Do what ever you would want someone to do or say if you were having a bad day.

     We are all Military wives no matter the branch. If you are a new wife or a pro at this life of ours.

      At the end of the day you don't know when you will blink and be " that wife ." You never know what she's going through or if maybe just a simple hi. Might change her day and your life forever.

I should know .... 2 years ago I never thought I would be nor did I want to be " that kind of wife ."  Yet here I stand .... or sit as it maybe the same wife I feared. Though through everything I find I am happy , blessed to have such an amazing husband and family. I might not look like a trophy wife , I might not have the cleanest house or have the perfect kids. I might not look like I have a life outside of my family. I definitely spend my days homeschooling my kids and feeling like I need a good nap. However I am happier then I have ever been. My family is my life with out a doubt and I wouldn't want it any other way. 

     From where I'm sitting life is good and gets better every day. I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds.

From Civilian Life To Military Wife

                           The New Life Of A Military Wife!

   Married Life in the Military is not what it use to be! The first things you need to know about being a Military Wife are life long lessons.

      I read all the books I could find on Military Life. All the books seemed to say the same thing over and over again.
    Here is what I learned about how to be a great Military Wife!
   

     
      * INDEPENDENCE
  
       The key to surviving a Military Life ( at least as the books all tell it ) .... When I first read that I laughed! Who would think that being independent would be the key to what some call a Dependent life.
      No I don't think that's the key to this life style though it is very much needed. You have to have your own life our side of your husband. You have to learn to spread your wings where ever the Military might take you. Get out of the house no matter what it might be and start building your life. Find a job, join a craft group, a running club. Whatever you are interested on as long as you are not sitting in the house every day. Simply waiting on your husband to get home from work day in and day out.

 


      * THE SISTERHOOD

       This is in my opinion the most important thing you can do. Put yourself out there in the world of Military spouses. No matter what your home branch happens to be. Army, Marines, Air Force, Navy or Cost Guard ( yes to me they are a branch ) Find your self a group of friends. There are sisterhoods out there for every branch. They are there to help you along your new journey. On every post there are Wives Clubs, FRG's  and other special clubs/groups. Get out there and make friends because you will need friends no matter what. .The days get long and lonely when your husband is away. Having friends who are in the same Military Life style as you are will help. They will be there to help you remember why you should smile. They  will help you remember why your part of this life. They will show you the strength of  the Military wife community when you need it the most. Let them love you, support you and don't be scared to be yourself.

  

      * RESPECT THE LIFE
       
      Though I can't say I agree with it so many people refer to spouses as " Dependents ." Or " Dependa " I dislike this word more then any other in the Military vocabulary. It is the most disrespectful word you could ever call me. I'm not a " dependa " simple because I'm a house wife. You have to respect the life and be greatful for it.  This life affords us each alot of advantages that we wouldn't normally have. We get health insurance ,( though who ever said its free lied ) life insurance,  and  an ID that gives is access to every Military instalation in the U.S. ( Yes you can get into other branches base/post. ( To the Army  it's called post ) Using your Military ID not just your branches base/post. We get to shop at the commissary and px. ( or whatever your branch calls it  for us Army Wives it's the PX ) These things are all a privileges and each and every one of us needs to remember to respect that. Those who don't respect the Military and privileges we get as Military spouses. Are often refered to as " dependas" and most of us all too often forget. That we are all dependants of the Military. No matter if you work or stay at home. You still have the same ID as the rest. So respect the life and all that comes with it. Don't complain about it because you never know when you can and will be kicked out of the life style.

  

      * PCS LOVE

   Yes you read that right, PCS Love! ( PCS means Permanent Change of Station ) What I mean by that is you need to learn to love pcsing. I know at first this can be so confusing and frustrating. You get to travel to places in the world. That you never dreamed you could go much less live. Pcsing can be one of the best times in your life or the worst. You get to learn new languages, see new places. You get to explore the world around you. If you chose to ,which I highly recommend. Every where you move there are tons if sites to see. We are luckly to live in a time where we can simply google. To find out about fun exciting things wait for us at our next duty station. Do your home work before you PCS and ask around about your new post. There are tons of Facebook pages/ groups for information about where ever your pcsing to. Use the resources at your disposal. Military Spouse pages and websites are there to help you.

    

      * FOLLOW THE RULES

     Yes there are rules of this Military Life we are all living or joining. Most of the rules are unwritten rules but nonetheless they are all important. Each rule is there for a reason and those who don't follow the rules. Seem to live unhappy short lived Military lives. The happiest wives from what I have seen and read follow the rules and set the standard for the rest of us. Etiquette is a big deal in this life style of ours. There are rules for every occasion and though some don't believe in following the rules. You should at least learn them. Don't think that you can avoid the rules or ignore the rules. They always catch up to you. You don't want to be stuck looking a fool because you don't know what you should or should do or wear at an event.

The Begaining .... Where to start Homeschooling

First off  Do Your Home Work! On How To Start or Where To Start

•  The very first thing we did as a family was to of course register as a Non Accredited Private  School in the state we live in . ( Kansas )
• Then we wanted to look up the National Standards For Catholic Elementary and Secondary Schools. ( Here is the link for the English down load of the National Standards please email me for the Spanish down load or anything else you might need. )  http://www.catholicschoolstandards.org/the-standards/2014-07-13-13-36-30/download-the-standards

• Every state is different and has a different set of rules. For some it is very structured and others are very open. To allowing you the freedom to teach your children with little interference from the state. 
• We had to figure out what our resources were as a Catholic Homeschooling / Private Schooling family. ( here are some of the links we found very helpful.  listed below )  

                                                          Links

• http://www.catholicmom.com/catholicmom_com_links_homeschool_resources.htm
• http://www.homeschoolingcatholic.com/links/curriculum/
• www.hslda.org    <~ THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT LINK I COULD EVER SHARE. EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE LEGAL COVERAGE. 

•                                          My Favorite Blogs

• http://www.catholicallyear.com/
• http://totustuusfamily.blogspot.com/
• http://raisinglittlesaints.blogspot.com/
• http://hsjoy.blogspot.com/

                         Most Importantly Read the Bible! and Home School                       Blogs. They will help you figure out whats best for you

                Family. Try different ways of teaching what ever works 

                for your family! 

Why we decided to year round homeschool

     

     Catching Our Kids Up! 

   Deciding to Year Round Homeschool is not for the faint of heart! .... There are MANY reasons we knew it was right for us.

What it means to our family might not be what it means to other. Homeschooling this is for us is about catching our kids up. They had a very rockie past with being "homeschooled" by a former step mother. Do to their experience with her they are very behind there with school. We have tested both kids with Sylvan Learning Center and the results well they were not good. Jay is on a 1.5 grade level when in a public school he would be going into 3rd grade. Hayley is on a 2nd grade almost the beginning of 3rd grade level. When she should be going into  4th grade. It breaks my heart to see how far behind they are due to someone elses failure. That is one of the largest reasons why we not only decided to year round homeschool. It is also the reason we have to year round homeschool. If we didn't then they would never catch up. They need alot of extra attention. One on one help to build the skills they should know by now. It's  alot of work day in and day out but it. Will be worth it to know my kids are on the grade levels that they should be.

   The kids Enjoy Picking Their Days Off

        It means long days and for us , it means that we can't take breaks the way alot of people do. We have to home school 6 days a week on most weeks. We have to do everything at each kids own speed. There are some days that we get done at 3pm and some days we go right up until 5pm. But at the end of each day we are all happy and the kids are proud of how far they have come. They are proud of the things they have learned. They get to pick days off. They get to have fun learning. It's hard work but there is nothing in this world that would change our minds about year round home schooling.

   We Prayed About It, let their faith grow

        We prayed about year round homeschooling for about 6 months before deciding to go ahead with it. We as a family believe that God should be the foundation for education. Our Catholic faith is a huge part of our life. We want our kids to learn every day the joys of our faith and to grow there love for God snd the Holy Mother. We sat down and talked as a family to our kids and asked what they want. How they want to homeschool and what subjects they want to learn. They get the freedom to pick fun classes, to pick what class work they do each day. ( luckly we have kids,who know the basic subjects must be done every day then they get to do the ones they want to do. )

   Give The kids Freedom To Pick What They Learn!

They get to help design activities and lessons every day so to them even on the subjects they struggle in are made fun.We believe in structure and that just because we are on school and we must do class work. That doesn't mean we can't have fun, do field trips, explore the world around us. Discover history as its meant to be learned. Learn the fun of science and grow there imaginations.


                 

Freedom To Let The Kids Learn Their Own Way!

         We wanted the freedom for our kids to be able to learn the way they want in the time frame that is best for them. Every child is different and learns at their own speed and own way. We believe our kids need to be able to learn the way they learn the best not the way the school teach. We are against common core and don't think it's right to attempt to make children learn one way of doing everything. There are many ways to learn. Just because one child gets the right answer one way doesn't mean a nother will get the right answer that way.

Our Believes About What Shouldn't Be!

     As a family we wanted to be able to spend time together. With traditional public school it seemed my kids were not being given the one on one attention. They need and they were moving to slow in some subjects and to fast in others. The kids bringing guns to school. The schools going on " lock down " every other week due to strangers attempts to enter the school. It was just all too much. Too much worry too much stress and too many fears. Not to count the teachers being caught for sexual relations and the fact that we don't feel our children need to learn " sex education." Until they are personally ready for it and I'm sorry but my children will not be ready for a long time. We wanted the freedom to not have to pull our children out of school due to a PCS. Our kids get to know other kids , build relationships and bonds. They get to play sports , they get to just be kids and not robots!

We don't believe in long school breaks for the kids. They get to pick a few days every month they want to have with no school. They get a say in their school year and they absolutely love it. Children deserve say in their schooling. We believe they want to learn when they get more say in their education.

Though our reasons might seem strange to some they mean alot to our family!

From Here To Korea... why you shouldn't stay behind

        Okay Lets get real!

   The hardest part about being a Military Spouse is the deployments and training. Yes I know so many people like to throw quotes out there like.

             " You knew what you were getting into when you married him dont complain "

                " Oh my husband goes out of town to work I know how you feel "

             

         "  I wish my husband would go out of town like that you are so lucky " 

" Y'all have so many benefits if we got everything for free like that I would be okay with my husband being gone all of the time " 

or my personal favorite  

" You get to email him, and video chat so its not as hard as you pretend it is "

No words have made me  angry as fast as those people out there who like to act like we have it easy.

I know we dont have it as hard as some people out there in the world

however dang it! being apart from your spouse is hard and sucks!

I will never forget the day my husband first told me he was going to be moving across the world.

Right after we got married my husband told me that he was going to be getting orders

some where new. He had no idea where or when he was going to leave. 

Days later we found out that my husband was going to be going to AIT!

Across the country to change his MOS and at some point from there

he would be finding out where he would be getting stationed at.

The worst part of all was he was going to have to leave on 

MY BIRTHDAY!

I was angry and hurt but I knew " what I signed up for "....

( complete crap if you ask me but thats another post lol )

The days passed quickly and before we knew it he was off to the Airport

I was crying my eyes out wishing for just one more day .... hour or anything.

Just so I could keep my newly wed husband for a little longer.

He boarded the plain and off he went to start his training

Little did I truly know just how much our lives

would be changing. 

He went through all of his training and come graduation day I sat and watched as they

marched in. One by one being called out.

Before I knew it , it was over and it was time to say good bye again.

( Photo shoot of me and my hubby at

Fort Leonard Wood MO ) 

He had gotten orders for South Korea and was leaving

shortly after graduation.

We talked about it often trying to decide if I should try to go with him. 

However with a custody battle and kids there was no chance of us being able to go.

His job took up pretty much all of his time and with the time difference it meant when we were able to talk that he had to lose sleep. How he made it through I truly don't know.I know he was my rock through the long day and even longer nights.

Were were one of the unlucky ones, my husband didnt get to have his mid tour leave.

through everything we dealt with his hardship tour to South Korea almost broke our family apart.

Not because of cheating , or because he was being dishonest but because we were apart. 

Only 6 weeks after getting married we were apart for 14 very long months. 

The idea that we could make it through the year in Korea was one thing but the reality of the matter is that you should never decide to stay back. You should be with your spouse every chance you can no matter what you have to do. There is no reason good enough to have to stay in a different country as your spouse for any period of time.

Take it from a a wife who struggled with it and a family that now has to deal with the after math.

Of our family being apart for way too long.

Trying to get back together and be a family is harder then you think.

The doctors say it takes about 6 months to get back into a normal routine where you can feel like your family is whole again. However who wants to go 6 months like that?

Who wants to watch their spouse seem lost, confused and all around hurt because he so use to being alone that being together seems painful?

I know that this is not everyones story of the hardship tour to Korea but its ours. 

If you have a story you would like to share of guest blog please email me at

CatholicHomeschoolingArmyWife@gmail.com 

I know I couldnt have made it through that year with out the support of the Army wives around me!

If you need someone remember Im here for you!