Another Threatened Miscarriage!

September 2015

oh what a month.

It was an awful month for us, It was our older two kids birthdays along with one of the most difficult things. We have all had to fae this year, after going into the doctors for a threaten miscarriage. There was no baby in the ultra sound at the ER. Nor was there a baby at all in the ultra sound at my obgyn's office a week later. I was heart broken. 

I couldn't drive I couldn't breathe or think I just sat there crying my eyes out while on the phone with my friend Sierra and my husband. 

My husband was away at a training with the Army so he hadn't been home to even comfort me. 

After finding out we were pregnant pretty early on in November we were now facing the same thing we had dealt with last time. Another threatened miscarriage!

There were no words, I just had to see our baby on the ultra sound. I had to hear the number was nice and high unlike last time we went through this. 

I can't handle another loss, I just can't! 

the ultra sound tech was the same lady who did the last ultra sound to tel me that there was no baby.  

She is the sweetest lady and remembered us from last time. 

She helped comfort  us and the second she seen the tiny baby she got just as excited as we got. 

however ....

that was not all she had seen. 

there were 3 little sac's  on the ultra sound

she was shocked but said that it was too early to confirm any of the babies. 

The Doctor came in shortly after she left the room.  He informed me that my HCG  numbers were 1701. At 16 days past ovulation! I have never, just never had numbers that high . that early in pregnancy. 

The baby is doing great according the the ER doctor but there might be 3 babies in there instead of just on one. 

I did have another threatened miscarriage however there was no bleeding this time around. Just pain and I was told I have a uti and that I need to stay laying/sitting down if the pain keeps up until it goes away again. I have to follow up with my OB with in a week.

I am still scared to death that I will miscarry but those numbers have me feeling a little more hopeful that we will have a baby come August 2016! 

Excited To Be Pregnant! Update!

         I honestly am so excited even after the fear of losing our little one. I think it is okay to be excited about being pregnant and about the baby. 

      We have gone through so much this year we all need a renewed faith in God and the world. Watching my tummy grow  and taking picture of my growing tummy. I am larger than I was even at 6 month pregnant with my other kids. at only 5 or 6 weeks I have never been so large. I know my body changes as we get older and it has been 10/9 years sense my children were born and I was a twig back then. However my tummy is huge! in my opinion. Yet ever time I see it, it is awesome. It warms my heart to know that my baby is going strong and growing the way he or she should be. 

I am so excited that after all of the heartache and pain that at last we are going to be having another little one. We prayed so hard for this baby and I can only hope that this baby sticks. 

I know that I just have to take it easy and pray that this little one makes it the this world and has a very happy long life.

Right now all I want is a steak, and chocolate milk. I am  a picky eater which I can't say if I was before pregnancy or not. I wasn't that I remember however in the past few weeks I know that I am very forgetful. 

Pregnancy Brain is a real thing!

I have forgotten my handbag in the oddest places I would have never forgotten it before. If it wasn't for my kids and my husband I honestly have no idea where or how many times I would  have ended up with a stolen bag and Lord only knows what else. 

So far this pregnancy is not like any of my others. I don't remember all these symptoms before. I do not think I went through all of this in the past. However as long as the end result is a happy and healthy baby. That is truly all that matter. 

#LifeAfterThreatenedMiscarriage 

Threatened Miscarriage .... a newly pregnant woman's fears come to light

      

        I never thought I would hear those words .... not in a million years. I never knew that it was even a " thing " that could happen. 

       Saturday September 5th 2015 I found myself sitting in the waiting room of an ER. Wishing and praying that they would make it all better. My little family was taking a trip to a theme park in Kansas City. Just something fun for us to do all together even though we had just found out that we are expecting another little one. Thus I would not be riding any rides I was only along for the ride and the food. lol  

      My husband so sweetly decided we would go out to lunch after they had road all the rides at the theme park. Sadly that is when everything went oh so very wrong for the baby and I at least. I went into the restroom after feeling slight cramps all day. What I found was honestly one of the times I could feel all my fears coming to life. I found that I was in fact bleeding, not a lot of blood and not bright red blood but enough to scare me. I told my husband and we decided to make a trip to the ER to check on our little one. As we do not yet have a Doctor. 

      After what seemed like forever after we had been taken to the back. All of the test were run and we were waiting on one last thing to finish the work up. An ultrasound to be done so we could " see " our little one. Knowing that we would not be able to see our little one because it was way too early. I was only 3 weeks and 6 days. What we found out was NOT what we thought we would hear. I felt like maybe I was going through a miscarriage again. Maybe if I was lucky the baby would be okay but I honestly did not think that was going to be how it ended. 

     By the grace of God we found out that even though we couldn't see the baby. That I was in fact pregnant however my Hcg levels were very low for how far I was. That lucky for me the bleeding had stopped however they did not know what was going on. They could not tell me if I was in fact losing my baby or not. 
All they could tell me is that I had what they called a " Threatened Miscarriage ." Which is pretty much my body telling me either to slow down or that I am about to lose my baby. 

     They gave me a list of things to do and not to do however I just. I don't understand what happens honestly I just know that in the end I will be spending my days waiting and praying for a blessing. I know that the doctor told me to come back if I can't get into the OBGYN that they are sending me to. That in 3 days I have to have a repeat blood screening done and ultra sound done to see if I lose my baby or not. That if the pain gets worse or the bleeding comes back that I need to go to the ER. 

    Then they sent me on my way and that was it. I just had to go home, try not to stress and wait to see what God has planned. I do not know how to wait. I have never been good at the waiting game so I have been trying to spend my time sleeping and watching tv. Thank God my husband is home for a few days to spend time with me so he is here to help. Deal with the kids and all of the house work. Lucky for him I keep a pretty clean house so there is not much to do but feed the kids and dog. Which for him means that he gets to order food and his problem is solved. 

     .... What I want all of you amazing ladies to know right now is that. I understand what you are going through. I am here for you through every day no matter what you are going through. I have been through a lot in my life time but I know that my baby's life is in Gods hands right now. I know that I will live a stress free life, that I will sit down as much as I can through out the day and I relax and enjoy every day that I have with my little baby every second of every day. 

       The thing that the Doctors don't tell us is that many females go through this. Many females have " Threatened Miscarriages " and they go on to have healthy happy pregnancies. Just because your body is freaking out does not mean that you have to give up on your baby. It means that with some luck every thing will be okay. However if it does not go as planned it is not your fault and there is nothing you could have done differently in order to say your baby. Please don't blame your self , I know I am not the first to say this and I will not be the last. However I know because I know I feel like I am to blame for this on my own life. I just have to keep telling myself that I didn't do this. That I couldn't have stopped it no matter what I did and now comes the awful part of waiting. 

                                                  Be Strong Ladies!

( P.S my hcg levels were 22 at 3 weeks 6 days )