When my now husband and I started talking about marriage. I read all of the negative things about Army wives.
The blogs about the wives who home school their kids. Who wear yoga pants all the time. Who shop at the local farmers market. Those wives who are stay at home doing play dates. Spend their days taking their kids to the pool and the local parks. Those wives who spend their time at FRG meetings and bake sales.
Those wives that wear yoga pants all the time though you know they don't do yoga. The ones that home school there kids and do every craft on pinterest. Those wives that they volunteer for the FRG and every volunteer position on post. The kind that are stay at home wives who don't seem to have a life out side of their husband and kids.
That was the kind of wife I with out a doubt DID NOT want to be.
So I did what every wife in that position does. I read all the books I could get my hands on. To learn how to NOT be that kind of wife. Fearing that I too would end up on one of those stupid " Dear Dependa " Facebook pages. You know the ones I'm talking about those pages that post. All the things people send into them about the wives of every branch. Doing what they see as pretty much " bad Military Wife " behavior.
Those pages give all of the Military wives a bad name. They are disrespectful and just a low down dirty group of unhappy people in my opinion. I feel like the only wives who like those type of pages are the wives or disgruntled ex husbands. Of wives who have cheated or other wise totally broke their hearts.
I feared that I would be everything I had seen other wives be. Or so I thought.....
After all the books , all the blogs and everything I heard from other wives. I found out the one thing that I didn't know or didn't think about.
Being a mom is hard! .... being a single mom is beyond hard.... but being a married single mom well that is the hardest!
No doubt about it I as single mother for 8 very long years .... FORGOT how hard it is. I never thought that all these Army ( Military ) wives were pretty much married single moms. Yes they are married, Yes I know that means they aren't single. However with husband's who work all the time, deploy for months to a year or longer at a time. Who deal with being a good wife all while being mom and dad most the time. To Their kids While nurturing the relationship between the kids and their father. They flock to the FRG and other volunteers positions to full their time. While their husband us away and so that they can get out of the house. That they can have their own lives out side of their home and give back to their community.
Those wives wear yoga pants all the time isn't because they are lazy or slobs. It's because yoga pants are freaking comfy and when your life is all about your kids. Who really cares what they look like when your day is filled with babies, cleaning and cooking. Yoga pants are Awesome lol.
Those Military wives who homeschool and don't seem to have a life out side of their kids and husband. Well that is simple to see the truth about once you drop your judgment. They homeschool their kids because they don't believe in the school public system. ( or for a million other reasons their are to homeschool everyone's is different. )
They make their families the center of their world because that's their heart. They are the ones that matter the most at the end if the day. They pick their kids to come first because even though they are blessed enough to have a had working loving husband. Their husbands work long hours and they don't want their kids to feel unloved. They don't want their kids to think that just because daddy works so much. That they are at all forgotten about. They just want to be their to give their kids the best education and life they can.
For that I now know that all of those Military wives who I see all around. With their hair a hot mess, a large hoodie or tee shirt on. Wearing yoga pants and just trying to keep her kids from killing each other. In the middle of the commissary on pay day.
Those wives are just like you and I. Maybe they don't have it all together the way you try to make yourself think you have it all down. Maybe that wife your sitting their judging online because you think your better. Is just having a bad day or bad week while her husband is away. Maybe you need to drop what your doing and ask if she wants to hang out. Ask her how she is or see if she wants to grab a cup of coffee. Do what ever you would want someone to do or say if you were having a bad day.
We are all Military wives no matter the branch. If you are a new wife or a pro at this life of ours.
At the end of the day you don't know when you will blink and be " that wife ." You never know what she's going through or if maybe just a simple hi. Might change her day and your life forever.
I should know .... 2 years ago I never thought I would be nor did I want to be " that kind of wife ." Yet here I stand .... or sit as it maybe the same wife I feared. Though through everything I find I am happy , blessed to have such an amazing husband and family. I might not look like a trophy wife , I might not have the cleanest house or have the perfect kids. I might not look like I have a life outside of my family. I definitely spend my days homeschooling my kids and feeling like I need a good nap. However I am happier then I have ever been. My family is my life with out a doubt and I wouldn't want it any other way.
From where I'm sitting life is good and gets better every day. I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds.
