The Place I Have Always Belonged

Today …. a long year after my last post.

I sit in a place in my life that I have been waiting to hit. The point where I have always dreamed of being. The place I have planned for, talked about and waited what feels like a million life times for.

You know that dream you have for yourself. The one you have dreamt of since you where a little kid?

Like the center of an amazing melting center of your favorite candy bar.
The moment you get the item you have worked so very hard for.
When you get your very first car and freedom you have waited so long for.

Today is that day for me and let me just tell you know that it is the most amazing breath taking time of my life. I couldn't have ever in my life dreamed it would ever be this great.

See I am not like most people or at least not  like most of the people I know or have known.

My biggest dream wasn't some big fancy job. It wasn't a huge house ( Though I will admit I need a larger one than I have most days. ) or a big fancy car/suv/truck. I have always wanted and dreamed of this life.

A crazy, never ending happiness kind of life. The life that I use to day dream about and knew with out a doubt that it was the life I wanted. The life I have always known would be mine one day and oh let me just tell you I could not wait.

Let me just tell you that it is way more amazing than I ever though it could or would be truly.

I am a MOMMY of 4 amazing crazy kids officially!!

I know …. I know …. I am a huge stereotype in many ways when it comes to Military life.

I am a stay at home mom , I have 4 kids so a huge family and to some it may appear like I just keep " popping out " more kids. I am not in the best shape of my life and I pretty much always have yoga pants, a messy bun and a top with baby spit up on it. ( but only while at home or at least that's the lie I tell myself most days. )

However for me, this is it! This is the life I have always dreamed of and it couldn't be any better. My hubby has a job he seems to love, we are learning to set a new path as a family of 6. The kinks are still being worked out but I am honestly loving my life! It is everything I wanted as a child.

It was a long hard pregnancy and the birth of our final baby. Was not what we planned nor was her time after but it has been such a blessing to all be together. ( I will make another post later this week about her birth and the days after. )

Let me just tell y'all as moms we all know when our family is complete and that feeling is hard to explain. I know it's different for everyone but for me I just know I have the life I have always wanted. I have known since I was 12 that I wanted to have 4 kids. ( two boys and two girls ) I wanted to have them close in age but God and secondary infertility had other plans.

I love being a mom to these 4 kids. I cant believe that this is my life and I am so very very blessed to live the life I do. It isn't easy at times and I know its going to be harder when my hubby. Goes off to training, the field and schools that I am sure will come sooner than I would want. However I am happier than I have ever been and I know that Army life doesn't stop just because I have four kids to care for. I know that my hubby and I can handle anything life or the Military has instore for our family.

It still feels like I am dreaming and I honestly am scared that I will wake up at any moment.
It could be the lack of sleep mixed with coffee that has me so excited about being a mommy of four.
But HEY! if it works for me right now than I say pour me another cup and lets do this mommy thing!

This is the place I have always belonged and it feels AMAZING!! To be living the life that I have at this very special moment in my life!

So here's to the sleepless nights, the crazy four kids running amuck. The Military wife life that we all know is never ending stress most of the time. The many many cups of coffee past present and the ones that have yet to be brewed. This life might be crazy but it's all mine!

The Two Objections I Hear Every Day.

Okay Y'all know that I am a huge fan of posting my feelings on so many different topics.
I love to speak my mind and I love to do everything I can to change the world.

There are somethings I have been deathly scared to make a video of myself.
I have been scared to death to show pictures of myself in any way.

I am not proud of what I look like. I am not proud of the weight I have gained since 2009.
But I did it! I made my very first video!

This video is all about the two big objections that I hear a few times a day. Mostly from Military wives of why they would not want to or could not start their own business. Why they do not think they need to work out or change their bad eating habits.

Check out my video and feel free to share with your friends and comment.

Thank yall for your support through out this whole process!

Looking Back At Where I Was

3 years .... that is how long it has has taken me to see just how much my life has changed.

It doesn't feel like it has been almost 3 years already but sure enough we are about to hit that point.
3 years of  marriage is right around the corner and holy cow how things have changed in that amount of time.

1. Dealing with a hardship tour right after we got married.
2. Custody battle with people who only wanted our kids for the money.
3. Our First Year of marriage pretty much totally apart.
4. Giving up the chance to pcs to another country due to the on going custody battle. Only to find out     we could have gone.
5. PCSing only days after my husband returned state side.
6. Moving to a whole new state far away from the East Cost I have always known and loved.
7. The struggle of secondary infertility which I never thought I would deal with in my life time.
8. The loss of babies once I was able to get pregnant.
9. Moving to a 3rd state with in 1 year.
10. Getting pregnant and being on bed rest with our youngest.
11. Having our little boy born 6 weeks early after a long and difficult pregnancy.
12. Surviving the NICU life and not being able to hold him after my c section.

The list just goes on and on yet here we all are standing here together. Happy, stronger than ever and ready to move on to the next phase in our lives.

It didn't seem like we have come that far but we did. We have made it through tornado's and storms that I never thought we would ever go through. We fought to stay together and grow our family.

To think that 3 years ago I was just a gypsy girl sitting in an a crappy apartment with my best friend and crazy kids chatting about what the future would hold for us. I was controlled by my family and my ex husbands family. I had no real control or say over my own life. I wasn't able to be the mom or friend that I wanted to be. I honestly thought that living in campers and tents and any where else I had lived in the past. Was going to be the hardest time of my life but let me tell you I was wrong. All of the hard things I went through lead me to where I am right now. Every failed relationship was showing me what I didn't want in my life. Every tear I cried was making me tougher for my future life. All the years I was a single mom was making sure I could handle the house and kids. On my own because my husband would be working often. Every thing has brought me and my children to this life that we live now.

 I never in my life would have thought that I would find the man of my dreams. Fall madly in love and that we would be where we are today. I never thought I would have this kind of happiness but here I am every day living a life that I am so blessed to have.

I honestly thought my best friend would still be living with us or maybe she would be in love and married with a baby of her own by this point in our lives. She helped me raise my older two for most of their lives. She is going to make an amazing mother and wife one day. I will forever hold out hope for her to fall in love and be happy. I could wish nothing more for her than true happiness and a family.

Chatting with her the other day brought all of this up to me, it reminded me just how much my life has changed. I don't know what life has in store for our future but I know that it will be amazing. So when your having a hard day. Just sit back and think about how far you have actually come in life. Think about where you were and where you are now and what it had taken for you to get there.

Could someone have told me that back then, umm NO. Not a chance that I would have listened to them but I see it every single day of my life. I see the changes coming to the lives of my friends. I see their struggle bringing the to wonderful places in life. I know that the hardships are not over for me and my family. Deployments happy, hardships happen but ya know what life is amazing and beautiful. Just keep your head up and know where you want to be in and life. Faith and hard work will always get you where you need to be, even if it is not where you thought you would end up.

Because life behind these gates ....  is always an adventure!

Always, Steph

My Very First PayCheck In Years

I am
a Military wife
a mother
a stay at home wife
a home schooling mom
a short order cook
the maid and well so many other things.

Yet none of those things give me the feeling that I got today. As a first time business owner and only about 6 weeks into starting my business. Though really lets face the facts that I did not honestly work at all until 2 weeks ago. I kept saying I was going to work but I failed to follow through with working much at all.

Today  when my children ( who love to check the mail ) brought me something that has changed my life. In a way that I didn't think it would ever be changed  since being a stay at home mom has been my life for the past like .... well since I had my oldest 11 almost 12 years ago. I have done odd jobs and gone to school for random things. None of which I honestly felt like I was working nor did I really enjoy doing.

Yet today that all changed for the better, I think for the better at least.

I got my very first pay check from Beach Body and let me just say WOW!

The feeling of having a honest to God check that is made out to you in your hand is amazing!!!!
It is a feeling I could not for the life of me explain. It is not just about the amount of money that
I personally earned. It is all about the fact that I know I can earn money all on my own with out anyone doing it for me. I don't need to be a stay at home mom or wife. I could go out and work like any one else.

However to know that I can be at home with my kids and do everything I would normally be doing during the day. Yet make a few $100 dollars to put towards any thing I want. Well that feeling takes my breathe away. I know my husband makes good money and we have extra income coming in already. I do not have to work by any means as we have a pretty great life. But I did it and dang it I am proud of myself.

I know it is just the first of many paychecks to come but the comfort of knowing that if God forbid. Something were to happen to my husband where he could not work. I could in fact support our family all by myself.

Most of my life I have felt as if I could not do anything. That I wasn't good enough to do anything with my life besides be a mother and lets face it some people think I don't even do that well enough. I know that all those feelings stem from the abuse I went through for most of my life. From my birth mother and birth siblings who felt that I will never be good enough. Not with my life being a life that those people could only dream about. I know that they can not hold me back anymore since it has been such a long time since I allowed that mess into my life.

Anyhow I am excited to know that I can stand on my own and that my husband is very proud of me for every step I have taken. He loves and supports me more than any one has ever supported me in my life. He was just as proud of my check today as I am.

EEEEEEKKKKKK!! Y'all for real I am so excited about my check! I am so excited that I am rocking my own business and loving every moment of it. This was the boost I needed to see that the things I am doing every day are in fact paying off, for me and my family.

As silly as that might sound to some, that little paper check. It meant so much to me and it is the step I needed. To for once feel proud of myself for how far I have come these past few years. To know that where I started in life is in fact not where I have to end up.

That check was everything I could have ever dreamt of it to be and then some.

Thank you everyone who has been there and shared this journey with me. I can not wait to see where the next 6 weeks will take me!

If you are looking for an amazing career, a job you can take with you.
No matter where you would go or what path in life you were to take.

Check out my website, emailing me if you have any questions.

I am always here for y'all!

Start Your Journey!

What is MLM ( Multi-level marketing ) and How Does it work?

Military life is filled with tons of ups and down and finding a career you love is no easy task.

When Your Looking For:

* You need a career that can move with you no matter where you pcs around the world.

* Will give you the freedom to drop what ever work you are doing and parent, pcs, go to Military functions or do anything else that might come up.

* You have to be able to restart your business no matter where you end up.

* Little to set up cost as military life isn't what some think. They don't get paid a lot of money.
" Benefits " are not free. So starting a business can't cost a whole lot and schooling to find a good career that can go with the flow. That is so hard!

* Weekly pay you need to get that pay check every week.

However where and how do you find a job that can be everything you need it to be?

In the military life style there are not many options for careers. Most of us know at least a few wives who have started their own businesses. No matter if its photography, selling crafts, or the ever difficult sales business. ( Beachbody, Jewelry in candles, Thirty-One gifts, Avon, Mary Kay, doTerra etc. ) The list of MLM companies and businesses go on and on.

They are the companies that allow wives to change their world and bring in the income they want. However lets face it they have a reputation as " waste of time and money." That they are " just another scam to take you money. " You know those " pushy sales " wives who try to sell anything to anyone just to make a dollar.

For those who don't know MLM is Multi-level marketing. That means you start on the bottom rank and then with members you have " join you team." As well as sales you make with in the month. There are different systems but they are all pretty much the same from what I have learned. 

There are those people who say that these companies are all a scam and not to go any where near them. However I would like to start by pointing a few things out. When you join the Military or most companies. You start out on the bottom of the company and you have to go up the ranks. Each rank requires a certain list of things in order to move up to the next rank. The way I see it Companies who allow people to start independent businesses at home or where ever. Are no different than any other companies out there. You start at the bottom and work your way up the company latter rank by rank. The only real difference in these types of companies is that you are the boss on how quickly or slowly you go up the ranks. Not everyone is cut out for these types of businesses and not everyone should be part of them even if they are already part of them. No one enjoys a pushy annoying sales person trying way too hard to make you sale or buy things you don't want in your life. However from the research I have done I don't think all " at home " businesses are made equally at all.

The way to tell which company are right for you and your life style is all about figuring out what you want. As well as what you need in your life and when you need it. I am going to use myself as an example. For me I have never found a company I believed in, at least not fully believed in. I have looked around at many different companies and yes there are some really great companies out there.
However that has not stopped me from joining a few different companies through out my life. One of which was Beachbody.... yes I said it I joined beachbody. However the company was not right for me as I had no idea what beachbody was. Back in 2010 when I joined the company I was not a Military wife, I had no idea what beachbody was nor what it meant for me. So it lasted all of 30 days and I was over it with out a second thought or a moment of being trained by my " mentor." This is the story with so many people out there searching for a great business that they love. It's not that the company has failed those of us who don't do well in these businesses.

1.  Our mentors were not the ones for us and they did not help us in the way that they should have or that we needed.

2. We didn't start the business for the right reasons.

3. We don't take it serious as a real business.

4. We did not follow the system that we had been taught with in our company.

Those 4 reasons are the ones that are the most common of why a business does not do well. Yet the companies so often blame others for their businesses not doing very well. They say that the company was the reason they failed or because they did not want to push products on their friends and families.
I was one of these people lord knows I felt it was everyone fault but my own. Until I took a step back and decided years later that I was going to research these companies. I knew I wanted to set my own hours, that I loved to help people, to change peoples lives. I needed my business to move with me with out a lot of paper work. Being a Military wife I knew that we could get stationed any where in the world so my business couldn't take up much space. I didn't want to keep inventory at all. It had to be something that I could do in my own time.To get paid every week and not have to question when I would get my pay check. So joining one of the MLM company's seemed like the best idea and the only real option for me.

Working my way down the list of companies I found myself right back where I had once been many years ago. Looking beachbody right back in the eyes and questioning if it was the right one for me. If maybe having a new mentor would change things. So I researched and talked to actual beachbody coaches who were the best of the best. They loved what they do , they made over $100,000 a year ( they showed me the proof. ) and yet they all said the same thing. They don't sell anything at all, they don't ask anyone to buy anything. All they do is share their story, their lives each and every day on social media sites. They help others learn to do the same and the customers come to them, they don't go out nagging people to buy things or keep any inventory.

So I asked myself the question that they had asked me.

Can you work out 4 days a week?
Share your story?
Drink a shake once a day 5 days a week? ( or every day )
and hire a team who wants to do the same thing?

There is it.... the 4 questions that can change your life for the better or allow you to keep going the way you have been up until this point.

For me, The answers were yes .... to every question YES! I wanted that, I could do that. But that is not where the questions stopped for me. I had to learn more about what beach body really was.

This is what I knew about the company....

They sold at home work outs, dvds and shakes that were to replace the meals. That was it all I knew about the company from back when I was a " coach " for my 30 days.

However from a little more search and talking to my wonderful friends who were rocking it as coaches. I learned that beachbody was not selling work out dvds at all. Yes it use to be and lord knows I couldn't do that again. Beach body on demand had it all over 6000 work outs at the tip of your finger. No more dvds, no more spending $1000's of dollars on a crazy amount of dvds just so you could have a choice of different work outs depending on your mood. All for a cheap price and there were actually a ton of options not a set. pay this and you get that style.

Yall that was it! I learned so much and I knew that was the one thing that honestly was stopping me from doing this. So Here I am sitting here as a beach body coach. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I share my story with others and from there if they too want to change their world. Everyone joins for their own personal reasons. Some to make a full time income at home, to have time with their family. To travel the world and still be able to work. The list goes on and on and that is the great thing about this company. Your reasons are your own, your story is your own and your business is your own. I cant tell you where my story will end up or where I will be a month from now. But I do know that my business will go with me. My family gets to come first always and I am in control of my own future. I could do all the good I want in the world and help others make the changes they have been wanting to make.

........ And so the journey starts here ........

The View From My Seat

Today, As I was sitting in my kitchen watching the start of the Inauguration of Trump.

Reading my facebook news feed I found myself thinking back to one of my personal favorite Christmas movies.  In the movie you hear the story about how the 'man' wanted to steal all of the things that represented Christmas. He thought that by stealing these items that he could some how stop Christmas from coming. At the end of the movie he learned that he couldn't stop it no matter how hard he tried.

Today I know that there are so many people who are unhappy with who is becoming our President for the next 4 years. I have watched the videos, read the post and heard all of the ' points .' Of why some think that Trump is not our true President and that someone else should be taking office today.

However that is just not the case, Trump is now the President of our country. This is not the first time nor will it be the last one where some people will end up unhappy about who is taking office. Every 4 years we go through this same thing and we will again go through this again in 4 more years.

Can protesting and blasting your anger and upset all over the internet really change anything? .... No

Can spreading hate and anger ever change anything? .... No, at least nothing good can come of it.

This election did not start in 2016 as we as a country put this day into motion years ago. We either voted for or failed to vote for those who are in power right now. Yes I said that! It doesn't matter who you voted for in November. What matters was who you either did or did not put into office long before that. No matter how small your town in, or how large your city happens to be. We as the people are the ones who have the power to make the changes. How many of us sit at home and don't " bother " with voting for anything beyond for the President every 4 years? How many of us talk to our children or the youth at large about their rights to vote? .... How many of us talk to our children about the respect you should have for whom ever is in a position of power? I can say that I honestly did not before 2016  speak to my children about any of these things. I had never followed the president , elections or anything of the kind. It was not a factor in my life because " what does my vote matter when the electoral votes are all that matter."  I would quote that every time I had seen someone blasting all over facebook or where ever. About how our vote matters and to me I was speaking the truth.

I was wrong and so were the bitter teachers many years ago who told me that. Our vote matters, we matter. Our country as a whole matters more than most of us care to admit. We learned about voting for the President in school. Yet not once did anyone tell us about the small things that matter way more than the Presidential vote. The Mayors, Senators, school boards, Governors etc. Each of these votes matter, because these are the people we put in power. With their power comes the power of the electoral vote. ( Yes clearly I spoke of some smaller ones that might not matter as much when it comes to electoral votes but it was the point that every time you can vote you SHOULD vote! )

" Electoral Votes: The Electoral College is made up of  538 electors who cast votes to decide The President and Vice President if the United States. "

We the people have the power, we put each and every one of the elected officials in office no matter how big or small. Into the office that they sit in right now and that is just facts. If we do not go out and use our power to vote every chance we can. Then we are giving up the power to have say in who these smaller officials put in as the head of our country.

To all of those who are so very unhappy with our President right now. I am sorry for your pain and heartbreak. I can only hope that you will like many before you, take a step back from your anger. Take this day with grace and pray for our President to have the giving loving true heart that every President needs to have. That he will love our country as we do and do right by the country as a whole. To all of those who are excited and happy to have someone as the President that you truly believe in. That they think will really ' Make America Great Again.' Take a moment and see that it is not about ' your candidate ' winning or losing the election. It is all about our country as a whole coming together. Being understanding about the upset of those supporters. Of the other parties who did not take office as they had wanted. There are always things each of us can do to make our country better and violence, anger and hurting other in any way is never the answer.

 I encourage all of you no matter where you stand on this issue to. Look to the future and know that the only way to make a true change in this country is to teach our children and grand children and youth as a whole. About the power of voting not only for President but for every elected official. As we all learned in school the only way to change the world is to action. 

This day is marked for ever in history, as the day that our country gained a new President. It is a day we should come together and start thinking of the great things to come. Your party doesn't matter, the color of your skin doesn't matter nor does the amount of money in your bank account. We are all Americans and as such we should be proud that today we have a new leader. We should pray for all those in positions of power no matter who small. Respect that in the coming  hours and days there might be some unhappiness. No one knows if President Trump will keep to his word about things he has stated he will do as our President. We do know that as a country one of his jobs will be to bring our country together. Will he? Can he? Those are questions for another day. However we do know that the anger will once again fade and once again live to vote another day.

At least that is my view from my seat over looking my own little world.

Before My First FRG Meeting Ever

Sitting here all I can think about is all of the bad things that I have heard and read about the FRG.  ( Family Readiness Group ) There has been time and time again where I have said that I wanted there to be an FRG here at Fort Leavenworth. Yet there still in the past year and a half has not been any hint that there will be a new FRG started at all. 

Until the day that my husband's First Sgt and his girl friend came to the hospital after our youngest son decided to come 6 weeks early. They made it clear that his girl friend was taking the steps to become the FRG leader and that there would be an upcoming meeting. When hearing this I was so excited to be able to actually go to my first FRG meeting but at the same time. I was scared to go to a meeting with out my husband and knowing that my children will be going with me. 

As someone who has never been to an FRG meeting it is something I want to do but I am scared to do it. My husband will be at work so he will not be there with me. I don't know anyone at all here that is part of his unit or heck anyone on post at all. Even though I have tried I have not gotten to know anyone beyond facebook. 

Sitting in my husband truck out side of his company build, with not only our two older children but our baby as well all in tow. I could not make myself get out of the truck no matter how hard I tried. I was scared to death of the horror stories I had heard from other wives or worse happening. I know that every says a " proper " Family Readiness Group was not a wives group, nor a place to have fun and meet people. That It was all about the company and raising money. However I kind of had my hopes deep down in side that I would meet my Leavenworth best friend at the FRG meeting.

I know I know how totally silly of me to think that I would find that person I click with at my very first FRG meeting, or dare I say a whole group of awesome wives to befriend. I knew it had to be done so I took a deep breathe and told the kids to get out and " lets do this thing I guess." Oh buddy let me just tell you that a side from there of course my husband First Sgt's nice girl friend no one really spoke. There wasn't a real chance to make friends and honestly if it wasn't for my husband thinking I should keep trying to be part of this whole thing. I would never go back like seriously never in my life. It wasn't that the wives were awful or that the meeting was really that bad. It was just the officer ( whom rank or name I could not tell you if I tried ) who is running the FRG made the whole meeting a business meeting. It wasn't fun or friendly in any way what so ever in my opinion. He's comments about " the frg not being for wives to talk and it's not a wives club " Made me want to get up then and there and leave. It wasn't so much of what he said but how he said it. As if we were just a bunch of fat ugly, worthless wives who had nothing better to do  then drag out kids to a cold building. To listen to him put us down and act as if he was too good to even be bothering with the frg meetings at all.

I get it really I do but come on, there was only like 4 wives there to start with and some random guys. Some the husbands of those wives and others that were clearly forced to be there. It was uncomfortable enough with out his making his speech about how this is an FRG it is just for information. It is not for fun blah blah blah. Come on now!!

I think I get it , or at least more to the point I get what some men are like when it comes to the FRG. It is not fun and lets face it with the job my husband is doing. He is not going to deploy and heck there isn't really any field training at all. So I am questioning why we cant talk an and enjoy our selves to an extent at the frg meeting. Why can't it be more fun and less like school where you have to raise your hand and wait to be called on in order to ever speak? All I can say is that yes I will return to the next meeting and I will put in more of an effort. I will attend events when I can and when my husband can be there with me. As I might get mouthy if the officer act like he is too good to let wives speak to each other. I know it would be the wrong thing to do but sometimes I can not help myself. More so when I am not getting enough sleep as I am a new mom again. lol

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me along the way and taught me about the frg . How if I don't like it I can always become part of it and try to change some things. I am not saying that I can do it, or that I even have time to do it with 3 kids and their going to Seton/ home study program. However for it being my first ever FRG meeting it is not as bad as I thought it was but not as great as I had hoped. I know I need to find other ways to meet other wives of course. This was a good start to learning to put myself out there and not being scared of what other people think of me. If you have any tips about the FRG or anything to do with the military life or how to do fundraising with the FRG please feel free to share.